Category: Motherhood

Healthy School Lunch Box Ideas + Giveaway with Kiddylicious

Healthy School Lunch Box Ideas + Giveaway with Kiddylicious

Posted on by Rebecca

Hands up to all the moms of serial snackers !! From the moment my kids wake up to the second they lay their heads on the pillow at night, I feel like they are constantly asking for snacks. I am always on the look out for new snack or lunch box ideas so when Kiddylicious approached me to “swap out” the unhealthy snacks, I jumped at the challenge!

I’ve found myself in a bit of a rut recently with school lunches. Whether its lack of time, laziness or just uninspired because its the end of year, I’ve been feeling like a pack the same lunch for the boys every day of the week. I previously shared some lunch ideas on the blog which kept me going for some time, but preferences also change. For example, I have been told that I’m not allowed to pack pizza anymore, because its cold (turns out his preschool teacher used to warm it up for him all this time) – so that quickly eliminated that option. Schools also place restrictions on bringing nuts or granola bars with peanut butter in etc, so it limits our options a little more.

I sat down to create 4 new lunch ideas, swapping out the cookies and chip treats I added in the last one, with healthier options from Kiddylicious.
Why 4? Well, because once I week I let him order tuck 🙂 Every mama needs a break right?

We always use Sistema lunch boxes because of the bento style layout. These are perfect for serial snackers and allow me to separate everything comfortably.

Option 1: Tomato and cheese skewers, biltong for a protein, Kiddylicious cheese stars, a citrus, grapes and our cult favourite, Kiddylicious coconut rolls.

Option Two: “Crustless quiches” (egg muffins are sooo quick and easy to make), popcorn, grapes, cheese, Kiddylicious fruit wriggles and some veggie straws.

Option Three: Chicken pops, rice crackers, strawberries and watermelon with Kiddylicious cheese straws and a strawberry fruity bake as a treat.

Option Four: There is nothing wrong with a good old sandwich, I try to steer away from them too much as the kids get a sandwich and fruit for their first break at the school, so I don’t give them everyday. Yes, this is on white bread and yes, my kids do eat brown as well (just in case there is judgement here). A cheese sandwich with cucumber and carrots, a citrus served with Kiddylicious strawberry fruit wiggles and the divine apple soft biscotti.

Option Five: Tuck Day 🙂 He always orders a toasted cheese sandwich in any case, but if you really wanted one; go with some mini meatballs (woolworths does a great option for kids), yoghurt covered rice cakes, apple slices, yoghurt served with Kiddylicious banana coconut rolls!

Its so easy to make sure no unhealthy treats slip in with brands like Kiddylicious helping us to tackle good food options.

GIVEAWAY – Win a hamper filled with Kiddylicious snacks and a Sistema Lunch Box

Make sure you are following In these Stilettos and Kiddylicious over on Instagram. Tag a fellow mum who could use some inspiration.

Comment below on what you would swap out in your lunch box?

Competition is open only to residents of South Africa, winner will be announced on Friday 15 October 2019.

Journey through Breastfeeding – What to Expect And What Is A Myth

Journey through Breastfeeding – What to Expect And What Is A Myth

Posted on by Rebecca

4 years, well 47 months to be exact, and going strong. That’s how long I have been breastfeeding for. It’s something I hold so close to my heart and its accounted for many special bonding moments between my kids and I. It is something that I very nearly gave up however, and I certainly had no idea it would be as “hard” as it was. This post is aimed to educate new mothers about breastfeeding, because it truly does take a village. Whether you choose to breastfeed for just one day, or if you choose to do formula feeding, there is no judgement here at all. “Fed is best” at all costs, and a happy mommy is most important. HOWEVER, the amount of mothers that give up on their breastfeeding journey due to lack of support or mis-education is huge, and it’s those mothers that I hope to try and help. So If you are expecting, or if you plan to breastfeeding, PLEASE read this post. PLEASE try to remember the points I make and lets dispel these myths, one by one. Welcome to my “Ted talk”.

Lets begin in the early days, because if you have just started your journey you will relate.

Congratulations, and welcome to the crazy journey of motherhood. Its actually one that has made me so in awe of our creator. The whole process of growing a human, giving birth and then being able to nourish this tiny being, is mind blowing, and it’s just incredible to see what our bodies can do. The moment your little one is brought into this world, they can “crawl” their way up your chest to find milk. It’s incredible to watch and even more amazing to experience. The best piece of advice I can give for the early days is to “feed” baby as much as possible. Demand feed. Baby wants to be connected to you again in some way so let baba nurse as often as they want. As a new other you have no idea what to expect or what is “normal” in terms of milk. The amount of times I have heard “I don’t have enough milk” is shocking, but as a first time mother, how are you meant to know what’s normal and what is not? We see these big bottles of formula filled up and we presume our milk should be the same amount. I’m here to tell you ITS NOT. The reason the formula has to be such an amount is because it has to try and replicate the nutrition that babies get from just one drop of breast milk.

Myth 1: I “couldn’t” breastfeed

I have heard a lot of aunties and people say these words. While I don’t know their personal circumstances, the vast majority of women are physically capable of breastfeeding, as long as they have the help and support they need. Even if you haven’t physically given birth (adoptive mothers) you CAN breastfeed. Unless you have a rare condition called mammary hypoplasia, where women don’t have enough of the right type of breast tissue to produce milk, you are able to breastfeed. Whatever your breasts or nipples look like, you are equipped for the job. 

Myth 2: I don’t have enough milk

I want to scream when I hear this. I want to scream even louder when I hear nurses telling a mother this when a baby is only 2 days old. Bar a serious medical condition or medication, there is NO such thing. Refer to the graph below. Your baby’s’ stomach is the size of a cherry, a cherry! All it needs for the first few days is a teaspoon amount of your colostrum at a time. It is truly the perfect 1st meal for a baby. Don’t expect your breasts to fill up straight away. Colostrum is made up of living cells, it forms a protective lining inside baby’s gut and protects them from germs outside the womb. It also has a natural laxative effect, helping baba to clear out their system. Literal liquid gold. That’s why I say even if you only manage a few days, you have done an amazing thing. Newborns don’t need much but as you learn each other and your bodies, let baby suckle for as long as they need. Initially the feeds will take longer (20 minutes or so), but this often decreases as time goes on.

But how can I tell my baby is getting enough milk?

Before you turn to formula, the best way to tell whether your baby is getting enough is to look at his nappies. Up until about day 3, there should be about 3 wet nappies a say. Then from day 5 there should be at least 5 wet nappies a day. Always measure the nappies. Newborns tend to feed between 8 and 12 times a day.

My eldest was a little fighter (funnily enough he is now my softy), but as a baby my word he tested me. He had an incredibly strong latch but in those first few weeks, despite him gripping onto me like a bulldog there was clearly some air getting in somewhere and I ended up with blood blisters. Enter the all saving nipple cream that other mums swear by. Yes, it provided some relief but actually I found that “air drying” was the best. He would pull on my boobs, cry out in frustration, get wind and then get reflux, it was like a vicious cycle. He would scratch me, wack me in the face with his arm, I felt like giving up on more than one occasion. Then, without even realising it, one day it just clicked. We found our grove, which looking back, probably would have come a little quicker if I had seen a lactation consultant. Then I started expressing in my preparation to go back to work. Imagine my horror when I realised that I could only pump between 80 ml and 120 ml at a time! SURELY he was drinking more than that? According to the formula tin we needed about 180 ml per feed? Guess what? 3 kids later and I still only pump between 80 ml and 150 ml per feed. That’s what my babies drink, and its raised 3 pretty healthy kids. That’s the beauty of breastmilk. The amount may not change, but the nutrients inside do! Magic right?

As you start getting into the swing of things and you get over all the initial fullness and discomfort, your baba starts to mature a little bit and will start experiencing typical newborn winds and cramps. You may think your baba is in pain or is even constipated because they are struggling to “push”. Firstly, please remember that a baby needs to adjust to the world. They don’t come out walking and talking. Their muscles have to develop and their bodies have to learn. Their skin has to adjust to the air, material against their skin, dry air. This is typically when baby acne or little spots can start to appear. This is also when the next round of myths typically appear.

Myth 3: Your milk is too rich (or too weak)

I’m sorry but your milk is freaking perfect! It’s from you, and you are perfect! Breast milk is always just right and adjusts to babies needs. If you start expressing, you’ll notice how your “foremilk” will be a grey, watery consistency and then gradually as becomes a thick creamy consistency. The thinner milk is high in protein, sugar and vitamins and minerals. Its “refreshing”, (think coconut milk), while the creamier hindmilk has a higher fat and calorie content, to “fill baba up”. Your milk is not too rich, spots and cramps come with newborn territory and it is generally just their bodies adjusting.

Myth 4: My baby is allergic to my milk

Errrr no, sorry, they are not. Your milk is perfect. Baby COULD be allergic to something you have eaten that could pass through your milk, but typically, the biggest advantage to breast milk, is that it is introducing all these flavours and tastes to your little one “through a filter”. Breastfed babies often have less allergies as they have been exposed things all the way through. Newborn babies are often are most sensitive to the protein found in cow’s milk, or in soy and their tummies have a hard time digesting it. Cramping can occur, so if you suspect this try cutting it out of your diet to see if it improves. In addition, if you notice any blood in their stool it is typically a sign of an allergy.

Myth 5: Why is your baby rooting all the time, is she hungry all the time? You aren’t feeding her enough

Want to scream yet? I know I did! Your newborns stomach is the size of a fist. They need to fill it up little and more frequently, sometimes they drink to fill and other times they drink for comfort. Breast milk is also easier to digest then formula, so it digests quickly. There is nothing wrong with frequent feeding, if anything, in the early days, it’s setting you up for a great supply and it’s giving you time to just bond with baby.

Myth 6: You should feed every 4 hours.

This is a newborn we are talking about. Why would you want to “time” them? Feed on demand in the early days. Their appetites will vary every day so for the first few weeks just follow their cues. I always used the “4 hour rule” as a “must feed”, so if we were out and about and baby hadn’t had a feed for 4 hours, I knew to stop whatever we were doing to feed. When we were home however, I always fed on demand. As they hit the 3 or 4 month mark however, I do use the 4 hour rule as a guide.

As your baby grows, your milk matures.

Typically around 2 to 3 months the “let down” sensation wont “hurt” as much. Yes I found that tingling sensation to be so strong at times it hurt. It should all settle down and you will find your natural groove. The “struggle” will fade and the fighting and the “fighting” will not be as bad. You will feel more comfortable to feed in public now. You may have to start thinking about returning to work and expressing milk to freeze. Make sure you have the best quality pump you can afford, please don’t buy a second hand one. You can read the reasoning behind that here. Building a stash takes some time but its worth it. Be patient with expressing and try to stick to the same schedule every day (muscle memory). The more you express, the more milk you will get. Remember that demand always equals supply with breast milk. Its during these 3 – 4 months that you may notice that your milk supply varies. A number of factors influence your production, mainly, hydration (yours), stress and sleep. You could be starting to worry about your return to work, or you may have just have had one to many sleepless nights. When I see my milk supply decreasing at all I take it as a sign that I need to take a little time to slow down. Rest a bit more, increase my fluid in take and by eating certain food groups you can help to increase your supply (thanks Mrs.Milk). Medela has always been my pump of course, and I have used the swing, the swing maxi as well as the freestyle. Each pump is deigned for different price ranges and “lifestyle” needs.

Myth 7: You will have to stop breastfeeding when you return to work.

I’m here to say that I have worked with all 3 of my children and have managed to express for all of them. I fed my eldest for 15 months, my youngest son for 2 years and 4 months and know babygirl is on 4.5 months. Know your rights at work as well. Your workplace has to provide a safe place and give you 2 30 minute breaks to “feed your baby/express” up until 6 months. Remember, once you start your solids journey you may be able to drop a feed in the day as well. For anymore tips on breastfeeding while working you can read my previous article here.

We finish off by dispelling the biggest myth of all:

Myth 8: You can’t fall pregnant whilst breastfeeding

Well hi there, my name is Rebecca and I fell pregnant when breastfeeding 🙂 So did a few of my friends. If you are exclusively breastfeeding, a minimum of every four hours, then your chances of falling pregnant within the first 6 months are LESS, but still possible (Month 7 over here !). Its definitely not the most reliable plan for a contraceptive.

A few top tips to help you on your feeding journey:

  • Approach breastfeeding with determination and a strong mindset. You CAN do this, it may be natural but it doesn’t come naturally to everyone. Persistence pays off.
  • Get comfy – Before you sit down to feed make sure you have everything around you within reach. Some water/tea, your remote etc. Get comfortable. Feeding pillows are the BEST and help you and babe to be more comfortable.
  • If you are ill – I’m sure you have read it before but if you or your baby become ill, keep feeding! Your body produces breast milk containing more antibodies which protects your baby’s immunity. I have fed through flu, tummy bugs and bronchitis.
  • What happens when you get Mastitis – Blocked Milk Ducts and Mastitis will be experienced at some point, no doubt. It is uncomfortable and painful but it is manageable. Speak to a healthcare professional or a lactation consultant. The best way is to sit in a warm shower and massage your breast to try and “unblock” the duct. Warm face cloths and expressing can also help. If your nipples are extremely sensitive or baby is struggling with a latch, nipple shields and expressing can also help you get over the hill.
  • Nipple care: With your first baby in particular, you need to take care of yourself, and your milk makers 🙂 Its an adjustment and they go through a bit of a tough time. It does get easier, and with each child after a little easier still. Use a nipple cream (works for some and not others. Some people are actually allergic to lanolin. I preferred not to use it as I didn’t like the sticky feeling). Air dry as much as you can – don’t put your bra on straight away. Sit for a few minutes after each feed and let them dry naturally. If you are at a low point or are suffering, use a nipple shield. A few moms I know swear by them.

Don’t be afraid to reach out for help. It truly does take a village. Please share this article with any new mum to be. We are all in it together. If love to hear if you have any other stories or tips. The challenges you faced and how you overcame them. You can make a difference in one persons life.

GIVEAWAY:

In light of giving back and helping another woman in their breastfeeding journey, I have partnered with some of the brands that helped me along the way. I’ll be giving away 1x Snuggletime feeding pillow, 1 x Medela mini-electric pump, Natralogic Nipple Creme and a variety pack of Mrs. Milk lactation bars.

To Enter:

Make sure you follow all brands involved on Facebook and Instagram;

And of course me 🙂 In these Stilettos.

Comment below and share your tips. This really is all about helping one another and encouraging each other. So I would love to hear your success stories and personal journeys to inspire others.

That’s it! Competition will close on Friday 20 September at Midnight and winner will be announced after. Please note that the design and style of the Snuggletime pillow may vary dependent on availability.

10 Things I Wish They Taught You About Newborns

10 Things I Wish They Taught You About Newborns

Posted on by Rebecca

I remember the helpless feeling I had with my firstborn. Everything I had read and studied for had prepared me for birth, but now I was home with my baby and I had nothing. Nothing to refer to, no “what to expect book” to help. I sent my mum in law out to buy me the “what to expect in your first year” book within the first week we were home as I was so used to having something to refer to. This came with no manual and I was clueless!

People expect this happy, smiling, coo-ing baby to come out and when they are niggly, or crying, or seem unhappy we worry. Of course we do, it’s natural. The wait till our 6 week check up with the Pediatrician seemed endless and I had a growing list of concerns and queries to raise with her during our visit.

Two kids later and safe to say I am a little more confident in my abilities and what newborns come with, though I have seen first hand there is still a huge “gap in the market” on newborn behaviour and as a new mother, what to expect.

So here are some things I urge every mum to be or new mum to read, these are the things that I wish I had known with my firstborn (please note I am not a medical doctor, these are just my first hand experiences, if you truly are worried about something it’s always better to get a professional opinion):

  • Breastfeeding takes a while to get into – You and baby will take at least 3 weeks getting to know each other and finding your groove. Your nipples will feel like hot razors are running through them and when your milk kicks in you will feel like you have hard rocks attached to your chest. It’s excruciating, and you may cry BUT It does pass and it does get easier, trust me. It’s the one thing you don’t want to give up on, even one day of breastmilk is better than none at all.
  • Babies will cramp – Breastfed babies (I can only speak from this experience), will experience cramps and winds. It’s more frustrating for parents I think then it is for the babies, but please know that this is (mostly) normal. Unless baby is not putting on any weight, or you notice blood in a stool at all, it’s nothing to worry too much about. Yes it’s hard seeing a little baby in discomfort and cramping, but it will pass. Remember, their intestines have been 100 percent sterile, every single thing they ingest (through you) is new. Their digestive systems adjust to all the new nutrients in their bodies. Their muscles have to form. Please have patience and give them time. You can relieve some of your newborn’s discomfort by rocking her, carrying her in an infant carrier, or holding her in an upright position.
  • Baby skin issues – a baby’s skin will flake and peel, it’s completely normal, especially around their hands and feet. I mean they have been in fluid for almost 10 months, of course it’s going to adjust! You can also almost guarantee rashes, acne or skin irritations. From heat rashes, to baby acne or blocked pores all babies experience unsightly skin at some point. DO NOT pick those little white spots. Baby acne will typically clear up on its own but sometimes you may need a little steroid cream for help.
  • Reflux is more common than you think – again, largely in babies that are breastfed because of the consistency of your milk. It typically passes in the first 3 – 4 months. Your babies tummy has to settle into a rhythm. Until this happens, milk can sit in the stomach and then come back up in a reflux action. It can be related to some babies not having sufficient enzymes as well, and sometimes the little valve between the oesophagus and stomach, is underdeveloped which will cause him frequently to spit up or vomit. As baby grows and develops, it will pass, unless they have a medical condition and aren’t gaining any weight. Sleeping on a wedge helped us tremendously with our kids, as does holding baby upright.
  • Newborns will want to nurse A LOT. They “eat” a ton, but it’s not always for nutrition, it’s for comfort. For that reason I always encourage new mothers to feed on demand. DO NOT time your feeds. This is crucial to build up an adequate milk supply as well. This little soul has been connected to you for 9 full months and is suddenly no longer joined to you. They want to nurse to feel close to their mama’s again, to feel your heartbeat. Newborns also only a eat a little at a time, so expect many, many feedings each day and night ( a teaspoon amount in those first few weeks ).
  • You cannot “SPOIL” a baby – so Hold your baby, for as long as they need.
    Hold them. And do it as much as you want. I promise you will not start any bad habits. They need you, and won’t always be that tiny. Those newborn cuddles fly by quicker than you think and you will long for that feeling again. So hold them mama, for naps, at bedtime, when you’re watching TV. Let them sleep on you, its bonding time you will never get back and it releases happy hormones. This is your maternity leave for a reason, embrace every breath and get to know each other.
  • Let them sleep! PLEASE DO NOT worry about routine or sleeping patterns, until at least 3 months. Newborns sleep something like 18 hours a day, and when they aren’t sleeping they are feeding or burping or trying to pass gass. So let them sleep (unless of course they are sleeping longer than 5 hour stretches in the day, then pick them up to feed them).
  • You need a degree on poops – There is no greater force than that of a baby pooping. Those rocket fueled gas bubbles that can propel poop across the room. The sound that vibrates the windows 🙂 It’s all about the gas coming out and their tummy muscles developing. If you can see your baby straining, sometimes wiping a babies bum also stimulates the colon. If I saw my little one cramping I would open up her nappy and wipe her bum with a little cotton wool and water, it’s almost always sure to get some poop out!
  • You baby is tougher than you give him credit for – God has created this perfect little human being, and aside from any physical or mental ailments or disabilities, their bodies can handle more than we give them credit for.   Yes, newborns are tiny and vulnerable and fragile and helpless, but trust in them, and trust in you.
  • Time will fly by quicker then you think. I feel like I gave birth to my youngest a month ago, but its already been 4.5 months. Time is flying and I am already missing those newborn cuddles. Don’t rush time away. Every day that passes is another day conquered. Give your baby and yourself a break. This is the most trying period in your life, and we often don’t expect all the “hardships”. Bar any illness and as long as baby is gaining weight and is healthy, trust yourself. You got this mama!
If I Could Give You One Thing

If I Could Give You One Thing

Posted on by Rebecca

If I could give you one thing my child, it would be optimism. In todays’ world of high anxious children, high crime rates and pressure at school, if I could give you one thing it would be eternal optimism and hope. Hope for a better future, hope for a better world, hope to make a difference.

It’s the one of the things I am grateful for the most in my life. The tendency to always see a glass half full so to speak. Don’t get me wrong, I do stress about things, but I know in life, you have to deal with things as they come. There is no point in worrying yourself sick about something until you are actually dealing with it. Since I was a young child, my two motto’s have been “The worst that can happen is they say no” and “just keep swimming”. Being optimistic about things gives you courage and confidence. It lifts you up and raises those around you.

It starts with us.

The way a parent talks and reacts to problems and stresses around them often become a child’s inner voice. Children are like sponges when they are experiencing the world around them. Behaviour is modeled off their parents or key care givers and their reactions are learnt. By being an optimistic parent you will handle situations more successfully, but it will also help your child do the same

The world needs optimists now more than ever.

The belief that a single individual can make a change. The belief and self-belief that EVERY person matters. The belief that they are someone!

But how do you go about raising an optimist?

  • The first – and I think I have my Dad to thank for this, is QUIT COMPLAINING. Be aware of the words you use around you children, they pick up on your anxiousness and worry more than you possibly know. “We’re never going to get a parking”, “We are always running late”, By focusing on negative thoughts and frustrations you are bound to raise a pessimist. The more your kids hear you moaning about your day at work, or the stress of life, the more they will do the same thing. I’m not saying “shelter” them, but be aware of the WAY you react to your daily stressors. Broken Geyser? Its not the end of the world, yes you may have one cold shower which is an inconvenience, but there are worse things that could happen.
  • Give them responsibility – Kids won’t develop an optimistic, “can-do” attitude unless they have the opportunity to prove their worth. Entrusting our kids to complete tasks makes them feel capable and gives them a chance to feel proud. From the age of 2 children can pick up their own toys, put dirty clothes in the wash etc. Get them involved and see how seriously they take their assigned tasks. Its the cutest thing.
  • Curb the negative self talk – Children are naturals at this, especially once they enter the primary school years. I often hear phrases like “I cant do it” or “Im not big enough”. Its our job as parents to lift them up. I’m not saying offer false praise, because that may erode their trust in you. First empathize, hear them and listen. Then work on small bits “what do you think you did right”, “how do you think you can do better next time”. Help them focus on a solution rather then the problem.
  • Encourage humour – If your kids can see you approaching life with a little humour and the ability to see things with a lighter heart it can help them not take themselves so seriously.
  • Love – love, love and more love. Strong love, soft love, tough love. Even when we are disciplining them, try to discipline with love. By that, I mean explanations. Explain clearly as to why they are being disciplined and the importance of it.

Optimism is a critical skill for happiness, health and success. It creates resilience and helps combat anxiety and depression. It brings hope, for a fresh new start.

I pray that you always see the world for its beauty, for its good. To see yourself through my eyes. You are amazing, always remain pure. Always have hope.

— Hope is a powerful weapon, and (one) no one power on earth can deprive you of— Nelson Mandela

Postpartum Beauty Tips

Postpartum Beauty Tips

Posted on by Rebecca

Ok, so I’ve climbed down off my “pregnancy pedestal” or rather, I came crashing down. The pregnancy “glow” has most definitely faded and now I’m dealing with dry brittle nails and hair, lackluster spotty skin, hormone levels that are out of sync and belly fat (I wont talk about my thighs) that isn’t disappearing as quickly as I would like. It’s like natures way of ensuring there’s no way in hell I’ll fall pregnant again soon 🙂 🙂

With the lack of sleep and constant dehydration due to breastfeeding, I have had to up my game and there have been a few products that I have focused on to help me regain a little “glow”.

Supplements – Pregnancy supplements – Yes, pregnancy. I would highly encourage everyone to keep taking these crucial multivitamins for the “fourth trimester” as well. Your body desperately needs to replenish the vitamins and minerals. I’ve noticed a massive difference since I started taking collagen supplements again as well. Most noticeably in my nails but also in the fine lines around my forehead. Make sure you keep hydrated, something I am so very bad at. If I could swap the cups of tea I drink in a day for glasses of water I am so sure I wouldn’t have half the problems!

Show your hair extra love – Oh that postpartum hair loss; I’ve been soaking up every treatment possible, but without a doubt, the one that’s made the biggest difference is my Moroccan Hair Oil. I have been using the shampoo and conditioner and its been soaking up each inch of moisture. I finish off with a dab of the oil and my hair is much softer. Get your hair done if it makes you feel good again, I’m definitely due to get my highlights re done again. Recently I’ve started to experiment with a mixture made up with my Young Living essential oils from Hello Essentials. Watch this space, if it helps with the hair loss you can bet i’ll be posting about it!

Spoil your Skin – both your body and your face. I’ve been using a Matsimela sugar scrub once a week and on a Sunday night I have a “me bath”, soaking in magnesium salts and a lush bath bomb to lift my mood. I’ve also been trying out Optiphi’s body curve range. I used the scar therapy on my tummy after birth (in addition to bio-oil) to combat any stretch marks.

Be firm with your face – I have been trying to be strict with my routine. I’ve gone back to basics and twice a week I use my Dermalogica daily microfoliant and every day, morning and night I have been using biolumin-c serum coupled with skin smoothing cream. To give my skin a little treat I have been using the Coco Mask from Skin & Tonic London. Naked Organiks has brought this cult favourite brand to South Africa. They believe in pure, simple ingredients and I am loving that you mix your own mask. Its in powder form to preserve the contents and you mix it up as you use it.

Release those exercise endorphins – I’m writing to myself here (note to self Rebecca), when you feel ready again, try to get as much exercise as you can to get the blood flowing again. There is nothing better then a bit of circulation to bring a glow to your face. This is one area I need to focus on and I honestly feel the only thing that will pick me up again.

The main thing, no matter what products you use, is to take a little bit of extra time to give yourself some TLC. You are not getting enough sleep, your body has been through a massive change and drop in hormones, be kind to yourself and take the time to give your body thanks.

Disclaimer: I received some of these products as gifts but all opinions are my own.

When Did You Last Play?

Posted on by Rebecca

I can feel the connection slipping. As I was lying next to the boys the other night I realised, that between work and baby I don’t think I am spending enough time with them. I often catch myself saying “OK just now”, or “in a minute” when they ask me to do things. I am so very sorry my sweet boys, you deserve more. I have to keep reminding myself that its the quality of time you spend with your child that counts, not necessarily the quality. Its just so hard to spend the quality time when you get home from work, have to feed baby, make dinner and to be honest, just to have a moment of “zen”.

The latest campaign launched by Hasbro struck a real nerve with me. I urge you all to have a look at this video.

Hasbro asked kids how much time they spend playing with their parents, and try to persuade their parents to come and play with them. My heart broke into a million little pieces. I saw me.

The evidence of the benefits of play is overwhelming. The latest World Health Organization (WHO) guidelines prescribe active play for kids under five to increase their mental and physical wellbeing as they get older. Play as been recognized as an essential right for every single child and the latest health trends are showing how doctors are actually prescribing playtime for stressed, depressed children and their equally anxious, always-connected parents. When did you last PLAY WITH you child? Just put down all technology and stresses and actively engage in play? I thought I was pretty good at playing with the kids, but my husband has to win dad for the year award here. He comes home from work and still musters up the energy to play full on games of hide and seek before bed.

Since Hasbro launched its #SavetimeforPlaytime video I have made it a focus for us when we come home from work to do one connection activity, whether its me playing connect 4 with them or Dad playing card games or hide and seek we take it in turn to have connection time. The difference in the boys is noticeable and in all honesty we are happier and less grumpy. So from here on I pledge, to all of you reading that once a week we will have a family games night. Lets be honest, when did you last play cops and robbers?

It doesn’t have to be conventional “play” either, if dressing up like a fairy and floating around the room doesn’t do it for you, keep it simple. Make a challenge out of cooking at mealtimes, have a tea party or picnic outside. Make a game of getting dressed in the morning, you can dress the fastest? Its about carving out quality, active time with our children and being engaged.

Head on over to Facebook, to @monopolysouthafrica and pledge to #SaveTimeForPlaytime and you could WIN a R1000 voucher and a Hasbro game of your choice! Have you made your pinky promise yet?

Thank you Hasbro for this pertinent reminder to be actively present in our children’s lives.

Things I Pray I Never Forget

Things I Pray I Never Forget

Posted on by Rebecca

I don’t know if I am ready. I look down and feel your soft cheek and stare in awe at your long eyelashes. Squeeze your tiny foot and notice how it fits into my whole hand. You are growing so quickly and have slipped into our family with such ease, I feel like we are missing the moments, the milestones. You’re grabbing things with intent now and try to put them all in your mouth. I don’t know if I’m ready for you to be my last baby. The last one I get to cradle and comfort. The last one I get to nurse, the last one I get to squeeze and kiss.

So here are some things I hope I never forget:

  • Your superman like stretch when I lift you up after a feed. Your arm goes up your back stretches out and you make the cutest little expression on your lips.
  • Your sweet sweet milky kisses
  • Your chunky, chunky, chubster thighs and all their beautiful squishiness
  • The way your little feet kick like crazy in the bath
  • The way you have discovered how to suck your thumb, and the intent you look at your hand with as you turn it to put into your mouth
  • Your chubby little hands, soft fingers and dimpled knuckles
  • Your sweet little gurgles and baby sounds
  • The way you giggle when I tickle your neck
  • Your little mouth pulling down and your button nose wrinkling up when you are upset
  • Your chubby, chubby soft cheeks (there’s a chubby trend here in case you didn’t notice)
  • Your call at night when you wake for a feed, it’s like a little kitten
  • The way your arm rotates and hits me in the chest when you are nursing, and the way you stare into my eyes
  • The way you sometimes stop, mid feed, just to pop your head up to look at me. You make me laugh so much!

Motherhood is always such a catch 22. You want your child to grow up strong and healthy but at the same time you never want them to grow up at all. Some people think I’m absolutely mad, not knowing if you are my last baby or not, but its easy to consider another when you are so very easy to love my Raya Bug. Thank you for choosing us to be your parents and thank you for coming into our lives.

All photographs are copyright of Slumberlings Photography and In these Stilettos

Third Time Around – A Birth Story Of A Princess

Third Time Around – A Birth Story Of A Princess

Posted on by Rebecca

Hearing a good birth story is extremely powerful. I used to read through dozens when I was pregnant. Listening to other women’s stories empowers and educates you for your own, it inspires courage. This was my third baby and second V-Bac and I hope that it gives comfort to any of you out there, wondering if you can do it. Our bodies are absolutely incredible, listen to your body, listen to your gut, you can do whatever you set your mind too.

Here is Raya’s story:

To our beautiful baby girl, at just over 3 months old I think its time you had your first little letter dedicated to you and your birth story. I’ve written about your brothers and before it starts to get all hazy and memories fade I thought let me put yours down.

Your pregnancy was by far the most trying one I have had. Not that it was awful, it just felt like I was pregnant forever. I also had every single pregnancy “ailment” one could think of which made me so uncomfortable. But, Alhumdullilah, both you and I managed to stay healthy and strong throughout it.

I was determined to have a second V-Bac; having had an emergency c-section with your brother and a V-bac the second time, I knew the natural recovery was a waaaay easier option. I knew my body could do it and I wanted you to come on your own accord. I even contemplated a home birth with you and considered an all natural option.

You kept me waiting right until the end, like both of your brothers. At 41 weeks, I was due to go in to have either an induction or a c section on the Thursday morning. Wednesday was spent dropping and fetching your brothers from school, eating dates, drinking Raspberry Tea and walking to try and get you here. Thankfully, you heard my prayers and just before Midnight on Wednesday night, as I was doing some last minute cupboard organisation (and climbing up and down off a chair), my waters broke. This wasn’t my first rodeo, so I went downstairs to tell your dad, double checked everything was all packed and tried to get some sleep. I was in no rush to head to hospital just yet, and I wanted to stay comfortable at home for as long as possible. Your big brother woke up at about 1h30 and I took him back to his room and lay with him, timing the contractions as they came. It only took about an hour until they were 3 or 4 minutes apart and started to get a “little” sore. The warm waters of a hot shower helped to ease the pain and I got dressed, did my make up (of course I did) and at about 3h30 am woke your dad up to tell him it was time to get to the hospital. He woke up, had a cigarette and was taking his time in the shower! You’ll soon realise that I don’t swear much at all, but at this point, as I was trying to breathe through the pain, I “politely” told your dad that now was not the best moment to take his sweet time.

4 am seems to be our “go to the hospital” time, its the same time we went to the hospital with your brother too. I held onto the crash bar and lifted my bum off the seat the whole way to the hospital (the bumps on the road were so uncomfortable). We walked into the hospital just before 4h30 and did all the pre-checks and paperwork. I had to hold on to the counter for support and couldn’t talk while the contractions happened, so I knew you wouldn’t be too far off. All the normal labour rooms were full so they put us into the examining room and drew the curtains. I can safely say at this point there was about a minute or two between the contractions and they were more than a little painful. We had the coolest mid-wife who was chilled and calm about everything and was rushing between our room and another. She was hip and told me to “do your thing mama” and didn’t keep me strapped down to the monitors, which I was grateful for. She joked we would end up delivering at the same time as next door and I estimated you would make your appearance at 6h30 am. By 5h30 am, I still hadn’t received my requested shot of pethidine (I think the midwife was trying to get me to go natural) but at this point my tiredness was taking over, and I craved relief from the pain. She finally came back with it but I’m convinced she didn’t give me a full dose because it didn’t really “take the edge off”, or it could have been because I was too tired. Your daddy was there supporting me as always, but when it comes to labouring I am super frigid. I don’t want to be touched or talked to, I want your presence next to me but don’t freaking touch me 🙂

The doc arrived just before 6am and at that stage I was pretty much 9 or 10 cm and she just told me to call her when I felt that “urge to push” – (mama’s reading this, you know what I mean). At 7am I still hadn’t had the overwhelming urge (I mean it was there, but not really strong like it was with your brother) and was starting to worry as the lady next door had already delivered. Being a V-Bac I knew time and progression was of the essence and I sure as hell didn’t want you to be an emergency C-section. So I told a little white lie and told my doc I was ready (in hindsight maybe not the best option). I had 2 or 3 pushes and then it seemed like my contractions weren’t strong anymore, I couldn’t feel them as much and it felt like they were taking too long (could have also been the pethidine). I was pushing and bearing all the weight down in my neck (I felt it the next day) and not enough into my legs. They pulled out the stirrups and on push 3 Doc told me if your head didn’t drop down more she was going to have to use the vacuum (I had no objections), but if the vacuum didn’t help pull your head down she was going to operate… Push 4 and what seemed like a never ending push (I ran out of breath, have you ever tried taking another deep breath whilst still pushing down?? Its freaking impossible); you finally entered the world.

At 7h24 am on the 18th April 2019 you were placed on my chest for the first time, I will never forget the feeling of holding your warm, slippery body on my chest. You were so so warm and my body temperature by then was so so low. The first thing I noticed was how big you were and what an incredible amount of hair you had (explains the 2 solid weeks of agonizing heart burn I had). You weighed 3.68 kgs and opened your eyes immediately. Your daddy cut your cord and whispered Azaan in your ear. I almost gave up. I said to my doctor in that last push that I couldn’t push anymore and “I give up”, but the moment you were placed on my chest everything was forgotten about. Everyone else disappeared and in that moment it was just you and I.

I hadn’t had a drip or anything while I was in labour so they put that in afterwards while they cleaned up a bit and waited for my blood pressure to stabilize before wheeling us to our ward at 9 am (I lost a decent amount of blood with you). The first thing I did was order a giant bowl of hot oats and a pot of tea 🙂 Your daddy went home to get some sleep and you slept on my chest the whole morning, skin to skin. Of course I didn’t sleep a wink yet because every 30 minutes in hospital there is a knock on the door, checking blood pressure, changing dustbins etc. I realised at about 10am that I hadn’t even tried to “feed you yet” (it shocked me because Id done that immediately with your brothers, but you hadn’t even cried!) and you latched with ease and strong force. By noon I begged the nurses to let me go and bath and get cleaned up, I didn’t want your brothers seeing any “mess” when the came to meet you. They came in awe to meet their baby sister at about 2pm and were so unsure and cautious. It was so precious and I’m so glad your auntie was there to capture the moment.

Your narnie spent the night with us in the room and once the doc came around the next morning to do her rounds she gave us the all clear to go home if we wanted to! So you came home and completed our family of 5 on your very second day.

Raya Maryam you have always been with us, it’s like you have always been a part of the family and are the sweetest baby ever. You are happy, smiley, patient and you hardly ever fuss. Your brothers are obsessed with you and you are your dad’s baby love. I cant wait to adventure with you and watch you discover the world. We are so in love with you and will always be by your side, lifting you up.

all newborn shoot photos were done by Slumberlings Photography and all photographs are subject to copyright.

Finding Your “WHY” And Remaining True

Finding Your “WHY” And Remaining True

Posted on by Rebecca

The whole Instagram hiding likes thing versus drops in engagement has got me thinking recently…

I found myself over the past few days noticing a HUGE drop in the number of “likes” I received on Instagram, of course it worried me. It concerned me that I wasn’t putting out enough good content, it concerned me that my readers weren’t relating to my content anymore. Thankfully I’m old enough and wise enough to not take it personally and to understand that Instagram is going through some changes, but it got me thinking about all the users who do measure their sense of worth and self belief against this tool. Scary thought right? The only reason I ever started paying attention to “likes” is because I know that brands look out for it to measure ROI, but true engagement means so much more then just a heart button.

The amount of times I haven been approached by people on Instagram who want to “get into blogging”, looking for advice on how to start is more than I can count. Before I give advice away, my one response to everyone will always be, is “WHY”? What is your passion? Would you still blog if there was no Instagram? Would you still share your thoughts and stories if there weren’t any “perks”?

Now more then ever, with the changes in algorithms and measures of engagement, you should definitely keep sight of your purpose. It’s one of the reasons why I hate the term “influencer”. Yes, I can fully understand why it’s used, but I truly believe no individual can call rightfully call oneself an “influencer”. People around you can refer to you as one, but an “influencer” should come from a natural place. It should be an honest, first hand experience, not just someone plugging every single branded item. It should come from a place of authenticity. So if you start your blogging career with the aim to “be an influencer”, my suggestion is to walk away. Times are changing.

My “WHY” is, and has always been to help other mothers. In whatever way that may be; whether it’s to inspire you with creative crafts and activities to do with your children, or the best places to go that are child friendly in your area (the top reasons I started my blog up again); I want to help mothers on their journey. If you’re a new mom in that crazy, whirlwind newborn phase, and you don’t know what to do or where to turn, I’m here for you. If you’re starting out on your breastfeeding journey or experimenting with solids for the first time, I can relate, I am just a message away. Motherhood is my “WHY” .

Motherhood is something you can never actually understand or prepare for until you are in it. Becoming a mother for the first time is one of the most confusing, self doubting stages in all your life, whether you are the smartest woman in the world or not, we all experience the same things. I wanted to create a community and a safe space for any mum to reach out. For all mums to know that we are in it together and to create a community where we can all support one another along the way.

I may have gotten caught up a little with measuring my worth against others with more hearts on a social media page, but ultimately, you are all my “why”. So thank you, thank you for staying with me in this journey of motherhood. Thank you for reminding me of why I chose to blog and for being “my why”.

Chronicles Of A Working Mum – Tips To Help On Your Breastfeeding Journey

Chronicles Of A Working Mum – Tips To Help On Your Breastfeeding Journey

Posted on by Rebecca

I love being a working mother, I love being able to have my “own identity” at work and earning my own money. I love being a mother slightly more though, and my children are by far the greatest gift I have ever been given and the most important thing in my life.

The hardest thing you will ever have to do is “go back to work” after having a baby. I have been extremely blessed so far in my career to work for organizations that are flexible in terms of hours and working conditions, something I am pleased to say is becoming easier in South Africa. I only truly “went back to work” with my eldest, and I did that for 4 months before finding a role that allowed me to work from home and be with my boys for over 4 years. Now on baby 3 I find myself “returning to the workplace” once again, leaving a little 3 month old baba at home.

Yes, part of me wants to “run back to the office”. Lets be honest here, and don’t judge me, having been a “stay at home” mum and a “working mum”, it’s a hell of a lot easier on some days to run away to the office and let your caregiver take care of the crying, nap times and feeds. A large part of me however, also wants to stay at home and soak in every single cuddle and sweet smile. The years fly by and in the blink of an eye she will be walking and talking. But, like 90% of South Africa’s women, I need to go back into the office and I am beyond grateful that I have a super nanny to look after my babygirl and I don’t need to put her into a creche yet.

The hardest part of going back to work is always the preparation stage. If you are breastfeeding, it’s making sure whenever you have a free moment, that you are pumping milk to freeze. It’s getting baby used to the nanny/ caregiver and allowing them to learn each other. It means sitting in another room and using all your might not to run and hold baby at every single cry. Hearing your baby crying but knowing that you need to let another person get used to her and understand her cues, to learn her signals like you do as her mother.

The one thing I can do for my babygirl is feed her, and I wouldn’t give that up for the world. Breastfeeding for me is just the most special journey. I breastfed my eldest for over a year, my second son for over 2 years and although circumstances are different now, I fully intend to feed my babygirl for over a year too. Maintaining a corporate career and breastfeeding a baby is a full on commitment in itself and one that I certainly wouldn’t be able to do with some help along the way.

If you are planning on keeping up your supply whilst working there are a couple of things you can do to help you on your journey:

  • Firstly, a really great double pump, and make sure you get a hands free bustier. I’m currently using the Medela Freestyle and loving it! Its compact and small and has a fully chargeable lithium battery, meaning I can pop down to my car to pump (open plan offices and clear glass windows in meeting rooms aren’t great for pumping). It takes 17 minutes from start to finish for me to pump out a full feed for Raya, and with the hands free bustier I can even carry on working. Nothing makes you feel more like a superwomen then multitasking 🙂 They key is to try and pump as close to baby’s normal feeding times as possible. I make sure I have enough of a freezer stash available to last a week or two and then whatever I pump that day gets replenished. As soon as I am at home, baby feeds from me as normal.
  • Mrs Milk Lactation Bars – Different to traditional lactation cookies in that Mrs Milk provides nutrition, for both mum and baby. “Mrs Milk” bars are fantastic for busy mama’s, not only providing you with key “milk boosting” ingredients like fenugreek, flax and brewers yeast, but also providing you with nutrition and energy for the day ahead. Calories are important when breastfeeding and life is chaotic! We often forget things like breakfast or snacks when you are running between work and kids, and Mrs Milk bars are the perfect in between! They fill you up with all the right things and come in two flavours, the classic and the green apple and moringa (my favourite).
  • Lactation Cookies – I have also been munching my way through “Nursing Mama” cookies. The ULTIMATE pick me up treat 🙂 No more mid afternoon or late night choccies for me, because these lactation cookies curb every craving. They are super yummy and come in 3 flavours, coconut and almond (my favourite), peanut butter and chocolate as well as white chocolate and almond. There is even a range to help curb morning sickness.  I find some of the flavours a little sweet, but I love the fact that you can buy pre-mixes, because honestly, who has time to run around looking for ingredients like flax seed and brewers yeast? When I bake the pre-mixes I just add a little less chocolate or sugar in to suit my taste.
  • Hydration – Goes without saying. Water=Milk, in this case anyway. If you do not increase your hydration, you will not produce enough breastmilk. It’s that simple. So whether its herbal, nursing teas, or plain old water; drink drink drink!
  • Finally a crucial item you need to consider, and it just occurred to me whilst I was pumping in the car, is your clothing! So here’s a HUGE shout out to companies like Cherry Melon, Sophie and Jane as well as Mama Noo nursing, who make breastfeeding friendly underwear or clothes. There is a BIG difference in being able to pump or feed discretely when it comes to the clothes you wear. Cherry Melon has some fantastic feeding cami’s that unclip at the strap, I wear these under my work clothes everyday, which allows me to maintain a sense of dignity whilst pumping 🙂

Wherever you are in your breastfeeding journey, know that you aren’t alone. Its tough but it is manageable. Its also a very personal journey, so if you feel that the natural cycle has come to an end, that okay too. This post though is here to encourage you. You can do it, if you want to. There will be ups and downs and ebs and flows, but we have incredible support in this motherhood community, and if you feel you don’t have any, I am here for you!