Tag: Baby

Things I Pray I Never Forget

Things I Pray I Never Forget

I don’t know if I am ready. I look down and feel your soft cheek and stare in awe at your long eyelashes. Squeeze your tiny foot and notice how it fits into my whole hand. You are growing so quickly and have slipped into our family with such ease, I feel like we are missing the moments, the milestones. You’re grabbing things with intent now and try to put them all in your mouth. I don’t know if I’m ready for you to be my last baby. The last one I get to cradle and comfort. The last one I get to nurse, the last one I get to squeeze and kiss.

So here are some things I hope I never forget:

  • Your superman like stretch when I lift you up after a feed. Your arm goes up your back stretches out and you make the cutest little expression on your lips.
  • Your sweet sweet milky kisses
  • Your chunky, chunky, chubster thighs and all their beautiful squishiness
  • The way your little feet kick like crazy in the bath
  • The way you have discovered how to suck your thumb, and the intent you look at your hand with as you turn it to put into your mouth
  • Your chubby little hands, soft fingers and dimpled knuckles
  • Your sweet little gurgles and baby sounds
  • The way you giggle when I tickle your neck
  • Your little mouth pulling down and your button nose wrinkling up when you are upset
  • Your chubby, chubby soft cheeks (there’s a chubby trend here in case you didn’t notice)
  • Your call at night when you wake for a feed, it’s like a little kitten
  • The way your arm rotates and hits me in the chest when you are nursing, and the way you stare into my eyes
  • The way you sometimes stop, mid feed, just to pop your head up to look at me. You make me laugh so much!

Motherhood is always such a catch 22. You want your child to grow up strong and healthy but at the same time you never want them to grow up at all. Some people think I’m absolutely mad, not knowing if you are my last baby or not, but its easy to consider another when you are so very easy to love my Raya Bug. Thank you for choosing us to be your parents and thank you for coming into our lives.

All photographs are copyright of Slumberlings Photography and In these Stilettos

Dealing with Postpartum depression – In Men

Dealing with Postpartum depression – In Men

Postpartum depression is a term that’s commonly heard, new mums are taught to be on the lookout for postpartum depression in themselves, but what about fathers? The journey into fatherhood doesn’t always come easily to men. Recent studies out of Europe show that up to 20% of all fathers experience some form of post natal depression. The reality is that postnatal depression in fathers is real.

What exactly have they got to be depressed about? They don’t go through pregnancy or the process of childbirth. Their hormones don’t suddenly open up and crash around them. They don’t have another being physically draining energy out of them. What affects them?

Dads go through similar emotional and mental rollercoasters as a mother does. Their world has been shifted upside down and they often struggle with a connection to the new baby. The focus of attention is typically on the newborn baby and mum, and as a man, you may feel that your needs are overlooked, as a father, you may not be sure of what exactly your role is, or how you fit in. Parenthood also brings new responsibility, for men an added “pressure” to “provide” for his family. Feelings of anxiety, exhaustion and stress.

Typically men expect that “paternal pride” to kick in immediately, but for some this doesn’t happen. If a mother breastfeeds her child it can be seen as an instant connection, she is providing and nurturing her child, fathers may feel left out. Mother and baby are seen as one and fathers are often on the side-lines. I know when my boys were younger and I was feeding them, I know my husband often felt “left out”, he felt he couldn’t “provide” for them and they didn’t “need” him. If they cried at night, he could not soothe them.

Everyone asks, “How is mum doing”, what about dad?

There is also strong correlation to show that is a mother is affected by post partum depression, typically the father is more prone to it as well. Some men do have tell-tale signs of depression, such as sadness, while others may display more aggression, agitation or even become detached. A lot of men start to work longer hours, at work they still feel powerful and needed.


If you feel you/ your partner may be experiencing some form of depression after baby, here are a few tips to include him more:

Try to get dad involved in nappy changing/ bath time more. Bath time could be their special bonding time.

If you are breastfeeding, after feeding hand baba over to dad for the burping and to finally put baby down to sleep. There was a period in time when my firstborn would only fall asleep in daddy’s arms hearing the Qu’ran being recited in his ear.

Express a bottle every now and again for daddy to feed.

If baby wakes at night try to get dad involved, even if it’s just passing the baby over to you (though this is easier said then done 🙂 ).

Encourage dad to exercise, release all that good energy!

If you feel the shift in your partner’s personality is big enough, suggest they speak to a 3rd party/ counsellor to seek treatment.

Postpartum depression is becoming more talked about and is not an uncommon thing anymore. Parenting is a life-changing experience; one that no-one is really prepared for. Our predictable, familiar comfort zone is thrown out of the window and our whole world spins. Try to keep the communication lines open, in most cases, you are there to support each other and life each other up. From a lot of the research done, postpartum depression in dad’s can clear after 4-6 months, once baby starts to become more alert or interactive and starts to recognise faces. As a mother, support your partner and try to encourage him as much as possible. Shower him in praise at his parenting skills and let him know that you couldn’t do it without him. Let him feel needed.