Tag: motherhood

Leaving The Preschool Years Behind; Here’s What I’ll Miss The Most

Leaving The Preschool Years Behind; Here’s What I’ll Miss The Most

Posted on by Rebecca

Before we jump into bed every night my almost 5-year-old insists on placing his clothes out for school the next morning. He gets so excited to get dressed every morning and packs his bag in anticipation and brushes his teeth. He is almost completely independent, bar packing his own lunch box. When did this happen? When did my baby become so self-sufficient and “grown up”?

It marks the start of a new chapter, I’ve officially just handed in our “notice letter” for our last term of pre-school. Next year my baby will be starting big school and I’m feeling a thousand emotions. Am I making the right decision? Should he stay in the school he’s in or do we move him to the local primary school down the road? Will he miss his friends? Will he miss his teacher? Looking back at the past 3 years I can’t believe all the milestones we have crossed. From developing a fully-grown vocabulary which includes words like delicate, effective and communication (which he proudly teaches his brother the meaning of), from riding plastic motorbikes to full on bicycles without training wheels. Creative “scribbling” has morphed into proper pictures, with people, houses and real “things”.

Leaving the preschool years behind has got me feeling properly emotional, but I think I’ll miss it for these main reasons:

  • Showing up late or missing school isn’t the end of the world – My husband always used to laugh at me when I stressed about the time and I was always the firmer parent on attending school. Hubby always said, “he’s still young”, “leave him while we can”. In the past year I’ve realised this. I’ve savoured every moment that we would have mommy and me days or taking him out on spontaneous adventures. Once we start formal school being late or skipping school can come with some serious consequences. The extra time we have had together has been worth very single moment.
  • Sand in his shoes – Something that irritates me now is probably something ill miss the most. A sign of a day well played. Though I’m grateful my car may be a little cleaner, I will miss, what that sand represents: time spent running and playing, pouring and sifting, building and experimenting.
  • Walking into school hand in hand – Ok so maybe this will last a little longer, but every morning my son holds my hand so tight. From the time we leave the car, walking through the parking lot, up the school stairs right up until I hand him to his teacher, he doesn’t let go of my hand, not even for a second.
  • Pure Play – Probably the biggest and most obvious things we will miss. Yes, whilst there is some structure to his preschool all the activities are based around play, and learning through play. I’m going to miss the freedom he has of just “being a kid” the most.

  • Hanging around the class – I’m one of those moms who loves getting involved. I normally stick around for a few minutes after dropping them off (especially with my youngest when he was still settling). All the kids now me and run to give me hugs and tell me about their days, and speaking to other mums about nap times, extra curricular activities or current challenges. Next year the class starts in a much more prompt manner and even though its normal, I’m realizing I won’t know as much about my child’s day-to-day experiences.
  • Pure Friendship – In preschool there is no bullying or teasing.  Pre-schoolers aren’t judgemental, and they play with everyone! The friends your children make are pure and sweet. Once he hits big school and the comparisons begin I know I can’t protect him for a greater world of mean kids, teasing.
  • The Crafty Activities – The artwork, the sensory play, the imaginative creations and abstract architecture. I’m going to miss my son beaming with pride running up to me to explain his latest masterpiece. I’ve kept all the special ones, but If I don’t proudly display it on the fridge he gets upset and wants to know why. I’m going to miss the sense of pride and satisfaction he gets from creating and I can only hope that our selected primary school keeps a good balance.
  • The Community –I know I’ll create a new one, but I’m in a place where my child ADORES his teachers. He is always happy, smiling and eager to get to school first. I know that everyone cares from him, and everyone knows who he is, and I know they would pick up straight away if he was feeling down or unwell.

I have no doubt he will embrace “big school”, every day when we drive past the school he asks how many more sleeps it is until he gets to go to big school, with a big cricket pitch. Its more my emotions, and my fears for him. Leaving the preschool years isn’t easy.  It’s the start of a new chapter both in childhood and in parenting. I plan to savour these last few months of preschool with unhurried mornings and lots of artwork praising.

Finding My Tribe

Finding My Tribe

Posted on by Rebecca

When you become a mother, your life, your lifestyle, your relationships change. Whether you are a stay at home, work from home, return to the workforce kind of mum it doesn’t matter, things (and people) change. The saying “it takes a village to raise a child” is 100 percent true, but not only for support of the child, but support of the mama too.

The “mom” world can be full of comparison and judgement. Breast vs bottle, baby led weaning vs puree, cloth vs disposable. There is no right or wrong. Its every parent doing their absolute best and working out what is best both for baby and mummy. That’s why finding your mom tribe Is so important. Your mom tribe of friends support your journey no matter what path you choose. These are the friends you can completely be yourself around. The kind that don’t mind if you are 30 minutes late because you had a kid that refused to get dressed or you had a diaper mishap on your way out the door. They understand, they have been there. These are the ladies that won’t look twice when you end up with paint or half chewed cookies all down your front. Heck they won’t even blink an eyelid if you haven’t brushed your hair. They get it. Your mom tribe may not even include your closest circle of friends, but rather mothers whose paths you’ve crossed along the way.

Growing up I lived with aunt in the USA for a year while her children were still very young. I got to know her “mom tribe”, we called them the “mummy mafia” and I saw first-hand how this group of ladies formed bonds across playparks and school classrooms. Over the past 15 years I’ve watched the move through phases, to different schools and graduations. Divorce, Deaths and changes of career, these women have been there for each other through it all. They are the epitome of a “mom tribe” and each other’s family away from family.

 

Looking back on my journey of motherhood I would say the first year of Aadams life were very different to the past 4 years. I didn’t have a “tribe”, I didn’t take him to any “moms and tots, In fact, looking back, I isolated him a little too much. I think any first time mum can relate to this, I found it quite difficult to coordinate everything: nursing, nap times. I certainly was not a “natural mother” like some of my other friends who seemed to ease into everything. It was hard! Sure I had playdates with friends of similar ages but I don’t remember every doing anything to actively stimulate him (or me). Lets face it though, from newborn to about 6 months you don’t really actively do “playdates”.

Then came our move to the Western Cape, in a new town all alone. I was 7 months pregnant and so desperately wanted my little adventurer to make some friends. Enter my first mom tribe. Our weekly get togethers were so crucial not only for Aadams’ development, but for mine as a mother too. With you first child everything is new! You don’t know about making playdough or stimulation acvities, messy play was a foreign term that I hadn’t even considered! We shared numerous cups of tea, ideas on things to do with the kids, worries of life. These are the friends with whom we may start a conversation via text on Monday and I may not hear back until Friday, but that’s ok. We understand, and we remain constant. 2 years later and a move back home I was left “tribeless again”. With a 1 year old desperate for some additional stimulation I tried various “moms and tots” classes to no avail. Then I stumbled across Adventure Clubs and met up second “Mom Tribe”. We all found ourselves on similar outings, with children on similar ages. All of us trying to balance working from home, motherhood, side hustles to bring in extra income. We all wanted to expand our children’s minds and tried to find alternatives to having them cooped up in classrooms from such a young age.

I am so grateful in my life to have these women. We have lived through the early years of parenting together, when the days were long, and fatigue was strong. My friends that I can completely be myself around. The kind that don’t mind if you are 30 minutes late because you had a kid that refused to get dressed or you had a diaper mishap on your way out the door. They understand, they have been there. These are the ladies that won’t look twice when you end up with paint or half chewed cookies all down your front. They won’t even blink an eyelid if you haven’t brushed your hair. They get it. Your Mom Tribe is more than just finding a group of women… it’s knowing that you have a group of friends that are there through it all.

I’ve been thinking about every single member of my mama tribe lately and how so very lucky I am to have found them. For all the laughs and conversations around “conventions”. Thank you for loving my babies the way you love your own, thank you for lifting me up and for just stepping in and making things easier without being asked.  This is a letter of gratitude to every single one of you.

Tips on finding your tribe?

I tried the “moms and babes” classes and never really formed deep connections there, same goes for the ante-natal classes. Though I know a lot of mums who did connect there. I had a few “almosts” with moms of the kids playgroups, amazing ladies but we never really found the time (I’m also to blame). My mom tribes funnily enough came through social media, with all its flaws and scares for helping me find my “mom tribe”. Facebook groups and the adventure clubs app all played a huge role in this and I would highly recommend turning to them for support if you can.

Surviving Two Under 2

Surviving Two Under 2

Posted on by Rebecca

I remember the very first night we were home as a family of 4. Aadam used to sleep through the night in his own room at that point (I don’t know how we have regressed so much), and toddle into our room at about 6 am. He came through to our room while I was feeding Yusuf and proceeded to break into the most heartbreaking cry ever. My little 18 month old baby was devastated that mama had another baby on her chest and just couldn’t understand why I wasn’t holding him.

I am certainly not the first mother that’s had two under two, in fact in my circle of friends the majority of us have had two under two at some point (clearly we are all daft), but looking back, I wouldn’t change a thing. NOT ONE SINGLE THING.

I remember being pregnant with Yusuf and looking at my 13 month old toddler trying to take his first steps, wondering how on earth I could have another baby in a few months when my baby was just a baby. I worried so much about Aadam and how he would adjust or how I could ever give him the attention he deserved. Having such a small gap between my boys meant two things. Firstly, I had an extremely active second pregnancy. Climbing my jungle gyms and pushing a pram while I was 9 months pregnant was normal. The second being I was absolutely determined to have my second baby naturally as I could not fathom walking around with a Cesarean section scar aching while my toddler was running around. People underestimate the monumental shift that going from 3 to 4 is. Gosh, I had just gotten used to being a wife when I had to adjust to being a mum for the first time and a family of 3, and suddenly we were transitioning to 4 !

Through it all, I made it, and now my boys are the best of friends. They fight like cat and dog, but they also proudly declare that they are each others best friends and it is the most beautiful thing to see. So here are a couple of pieces of advice I gathered when dealing with 2 under 2.

1.Call in the troops

If your mother or mum in law offer to come and help out with the new baby, TAKE THAT HELP! You will need every extra paid of hands you can get in those first few weeks. Dinner time with a 16 month old and newborn around? It’s a little trickier than before and having that extra set of hands is a welcome relief.

2. Prepare your partner 

You have only just adjusted to your new little family when suddenly you are welcoming one more. It is stressful on your partner and they may get bumped down the ladder in terms of priority for a few weeks. Make sure they know you love them and together you will weather the storm. Make time wherever you can to sneak in some alone time. We had our nanny in one weekend for an hour one Saturday and quickly snuck off to the beach while the babies were having their morning nap. It was just one hour but I will never forget that time.

3. Your toddler will get jealous, your baby will not.

I know this sounds harsh but my aunt gave me this piece of advice and I never looked back. Apart from feeding and nappy changes a newborn doesn’t “require” a lot. Have a mobile bed set up in your living area and whenever baby is sleeping try to devote your time solely to your toddler.

4. Get your kids excited about the baby

Easier said then done when your toddler is only 15 months old. By the time I was 8 months pregnant though, even though he couldn’t speak yet, Aadam would kiss my belly at night and give his brother “hugs”.

5. Invest in a carrier 

I feel like this should be priority number one in terms of importance. I had various slings and wraps when Aadam was born but to be honest, I never really used them or got the hang of them. Fast forward 16 months and my baby wrap became my best friend and saving grace. With a toddler you NEED that pram and you NEED two hands. I would carry Yusuf around on me most of the time and had my hands free to tend to “big brother”.

6. Try to synchronize nap times

However you do it, it doesn’t matter, but it will be a game changer. Of course one being a newborn and the other a pint-sized toddler they wont sleep all at the same time but for your toddlers morning and afternoon naps try to get in 45 minutes where you can. I have no shame in saying many a time I chucked them both in the car and drove around until there was silence.

7. Balance your attention

Think of a triage system in hospitals, and yes, your house will resemble the emergency room quite a few times. I typically prioritize based on whose need is bigger or more “urgent”. If the toddler is crying because he can’t get because he can’t reach his toy, and the baby is crying because she is hungry, the baby wins. But if the toddler is crying because he just fell down and needs help, and the baby is crying because he needs to be burped or held, then the toddler wins that time.

8. One day at a time

This is the GOLDEN rule. ALWAYS. One step forward, one foot in front of the other, one day at a time. Each day it will get a little easier, each day they will grow a little bigger. The younger baby will grow up much quicker and the moment he/she is sitting you will blink and they will be crawling, and then…… well then the real fun starts!

 

Finding My Balance

Finding My Balance

Posted on by Rebecca

I’ve always been a believer that if you manage your time properly then you can fit most things into your life and for the most part I still believe that. Managing your time and prioritising what’s most important is hard and takes practice  but it’s not impossible. However, something I’ve realised lately is that there is only so much time in the day and it’s not physically possible to do it ‘all’.

I was up last night thinking about balance, well the concept of it anyway. Everything you see these days points to “Finding a Balance”, magazines, health seminars, articles on how to create the perfect “work/life” balance. Is it possible to actually achieve a balance? Honestly? I don’t think so . You will never be able to balance all aspects of your life all at one time. Life has seasons, and chapters, and it ebbs and flows. “Balance” is not static, it’s a state of constant flux. The pressure we put on ourselves to try and equalize “life” and “work” is ridiculous. I honestly think the drive to achieve “a balanced” daily lifestyle could lead to put so much additional pressure on ourselves.

Raising children is hard enough, and then there’s building your career. Life is a constant balancing act of work, time with children, school runs, lunch appointments, if you are lucky you get to squeeze in a gym session, but when do we stop? When do we just breathe and take a moment?

If we just accept the fact that some weeks may be easier than others, some weeks you may get to gym 3 times a week, and others you may skip completely, but you know what, that’s OK! As long as you don’t lose sight of your greater goal/intention, you can only do the best you can. I LOVE my time at New Body Studio. I adore my Pilates, Yoga, Ballet and yes SOMETIMES even Rebound. More than the exercise itself I love connecting, having a good chat and spending time with like minded people. I am far from a fitness freak, but every person needs their “something” whether its immersing yourself into art classes, cooking up a storm, walking in the wild or perfecting your tree. Its important to take time out for self care, to reconnect your soul and mind. Try and find your thing and always keep sight of it.

We have to stop thinking that there will be a magical moment where it all pans out. A place where we will suddenly juggle work, family, self-goals and still roll into bed at 10 pm. There are not enough hours in the day! Life involves constant adjustments and priority shifts. You put focus into one area, and another area has to step back for a while. Some weeks I may work until 3 everyday and get to do fun activities with the boys, and others I may only get home in 5, just in time for dinner, bath and bed time routines. On those nights, I cherish my snuggles and kisses that much more. Not being able to take my boys out and about when they are on holidays and I’m in the office pushes my mommy guilt through the roof! I wish I could just show them everything the world has to offer, It doesn’t make me a bad mother, it makes me a normal mother! Trying to balance life in heels. Months may fly by where I don’t make one on one time with my friends, I feel like I’m the worlds crappiest friend or sister. Yet other months we may see each other 3 times in 2 weeks. The ability to see beyond the “black and white” balance is what I’m trying to get at. I need to stop focusing on trying to cram all things into one day, but step back and evaluate what matters and reallocate time to those things.

Let go of “trying to be perfect”! People living “perfect” lives and posting about them online can be daunting for those who live a normal life and are constantly scrolling. Don’t succumb to the pressure, the idea of perfectionism is hugely subjective. If you can accept that no one is perfect and absolutely no human being has the perfect balance you will let go of the guilt. Go easy on yourself mama, one step at a time, one foot in front of the other.

So yes some weeks I may cram in a million crafts and adventures with my boys, and other days I am a Martha Stewart extraordinaire. Sometimes I even get it right and manage my 3 days of exercise per week, or push out 3 blogs in a week, but mainly I’m just trying to find a way to get through my to do list, one point at a time. From high heels to high chairs, trying to balance work, life, motherhood and marriage. Life is beautiful! With all of its chapters and seasons. If I ever find the magic formula I’ll let you know 🙂

Life before kids – the top 10 things i took for granted

Life before kids – the top 10 things i took for granted

Posted on by Rebecca

I think most parents can agree that their lives changes forever when you became a mom or dad. I found my purpose, my meaning in life. I’m responsible for raising good, strong, giving future leaders. For teaching them right from wrong, for bringing smiles to their cute little faces. I love every single minute, despite how tired I am. Once in a while however, I get little “flashbacks” of things that did “BC” that I completely and utterly took for granted.

So here’s a list of some of the things that I took for granted for all of you “parents to be”.

  1. Top on my list has to be sleep. UNINTERRUPTED SLEEP! Whether it’s in a nap form on a Sunday afternoon on the couch, or in my own bed, not having to share my pillow with anyone or a Lie in (what’s a lie in?)– sleep is the one thing I will miss forever.
  2. Watching TV – Since becoming a mummy I can honestly say my TV watching has gone out the window. (I’m not referring to Barney or Paw Patrol). I’m talking about my weekly date with Greys Anatomy and consistently sitting down to watch my favourite shows. It just doesn’t happen anymore. EVER. I’m sure I’ll get back there at some stage in my life, and ill probably have to buy at least 10 box sets to catch up.
  3. “ME Time” – I’m referring to Salon visits here – Pedicures, facials are few and far between. Typically because any extra money I get is typically spent on my kids these days but also because I don’t have the free time anymore. 
  4. Hot Food and Beverages – A hot, uninterrupted mug of tea is literally my absolute favourite thing in the world. My kids have a built in sensor, it beeps every time I sit down to drink my tea. I never get a chance to sip and enjoy my hot cup of tea, in silence. Actually enjoying a long meal from start to finish. All of my meals, including dinner are typically wolfed down and of course is eaten in between cutting up food and giving mouthfuls to my two fledglings.
  5. Travel – Of course travel doesn’t have to stop once you have kids. I just took for granted how easy it is to just book a flight and travel overseas when its just you to think of. Now I have 3 other people to consider (and pay for). 
  6. Running Errands – Mundane things like popping into the store on the way home to boy milk or paying bills at the post office. I always have little people around which involves car seats, “mummy can I have this sweet” or “how long will this take. Enjoy running your errands in peace if you can 🙂
  7. Going to the Shopping Mall – I literally only do this as an absolute last resort if my kids are with me, or if I have back up. I miss strolling through Zara looking at the latest fashion or spotting a cute pair of heels. Nope, none of that now
  8. Lazing by the pool – I used to love lying by the pool, feeling the sun on my skin and closing my eyes. Drifting off on my Lilo. I can’t close my eyes for a minute with my boys by the pool, never mind the fear of drowning, they love splashing me with water !!  
  9. Date Nights – Date Nights were never really “Date Nights”, they were just nights out. Going for a movie or grabbing a dinner after work. I miss that bonding time I had with hubby.
  10. My Parents – from the moment I gave birth I realized just how much I needed my mommy. I am so incredibly grateful and appreciate my mom and dad so much more since becoming a parent. All the sacrifices they made for us, all the times I asked for a chocolate or Fizzy drink whilst shopping. The incredible childhood they gave me, I will never ever take them for granted again. 

I know there will be a time in my life where I get all of this back, and I am certainly not complaining at all. I cherish my children more than life itself, I just thought it would be a nice little reminder for any parents to be to enjoy all the little things; before your lives are turned upside down with sweet kisses and sticky fingers.

Dear New Mummy – you are not alone

Dear New Mummy – you are not alone

Posted on by Rebecca

Dear New Mommy,

You are not alone… These first few weeks can seem so daunting. You thought you had read every book to prepare you for the arrival of your bundle of joy, you had attended every workshop. Yet you feel so unprepared and helpless at the thought of looking after this little human. Every single gurgle or grunt you question yourself, is she too hot/ is she too cold? Is he breathing? Why is he making that grunting sound? He’s not feeding enough, he’s feeding too long. He’s not sleeping long enough, or he’s sleeping too much. She is lethargic today… You know the feeling. You feel inadequate, this is not what you expected. You feel alone.

All of these thoughts and feelings you experience are helping you develop your intuition as a mother. No, it’s not something you are born with. It’s something you develop over time, by connecting with your baby. By getting to know them and their bodies, their reactions and movements. You may cry every time you hold him, unable to soothe his cramps or crying due to sheer exhaustion. IT’S OK Mama, hold your baby, all he needs is your love.

Days turn to nights, the world outside slips further and further away. You feel “stuck”, feeding, changing, sleeping, and burping. You finally get your sleeping bundle down and place her in her crib like she is a package of dynamite, carefully loosening your fingers when BOOM. The crying starts again. Lie down, sleep with her on your chest. Sleep together. The world can wait for now. All she needs if your love.

Dear mommy, it’s exhausting I know. The broken sleep, the crying, the fear of harming your child. You can’t quite see the end and you don’t know how other mothers have done it. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. The best advice I could ever give you is take each day as it comes, each day you make it through is another day of raising a strong, healthy child. One more tick through the calendar of life. Each day that breaks your baby is another day stronger, because of you.

You will grow and develop a relationship in your OWN way, you will discover your perfect style of parenting in your OWN time. You will become a heroine, nursing night fevers and numerous amount of sick up, you will survive the days on 3 hours of broken sleep. You will become the PERFECT mother to YOUR CHILD. Your child is like no other in the world. You will develop a network of “mummy’ friends, all walking the same exhausting routine together, you will connect and grow stronger.

So listen to others if you would like, compare with friends if you wish but always know that you are in charge of your own journey through motherhood.

When you are feeling alone, staring out the window as your feed your baby for the 9th time that day, know that you are not. We are walking beside you every step of the way. Reach out to other moms, there is a whole new beautiful world of connections to help you through.

There is no other mother like you, and YOU are PERFECT to them.

Settling your child into school

Settling your child into school

Posted on by Rebecca

Every parent hopes their child will glide through the school gates, running to play with their friends, turning around to wave you goodbye with a huge smile on their face, but the reality is, it’s not so easy. Some children take a long time to adjust to the school environment, and separation anxiety is a Continue reading “Settling your child into school” →

On taking back your life…. after motherhood.

On taking back your life…. after motherhood.

Posted on by Rebecca

When you become a mother your whole world changes. Suddenly, you are thrust into caring for another human being, making sure they eat, sleep, drink and poop enough. Ensuring they live a healthy life and develop a mind. Safe to say, you lose “yourself” a little. I don’t mean it in a negative way. I would not change anything Continue reading “On taking back your life…. after motherhood.” →

The truth behind pregnancy

The truth behind pregnancy

Posted on by Rebecca

Ok potential and expectant mama’s to be, I am about to lay down some harsh truths regarding pregnancy. About the things people have told you and the things people will NEVER told you. Whilst “some” parts of your pregnancy are beautiful and you feel great, and MILF- ish. There is a whole lot more that I feel people don’t mention. Continue reading “The truth behind pregnancy” →

The truth about breastfeeding, and products that can help you along the way.

The truth about breastfeeding, and products that can help you along the way.

Posted on by Rebecca

So there is phase of motherhood that no one really “tells you about”… You know all about the milestones and a little about the burping and sleep patterns, but everyone fails to mention those first 8 weeks, where as a new mother, your body aches in places you never knew existed. If you have chosen the breastfeeding route, you feel as if someone has put you through 12 rounds of a boxing ring. The one thing you don’t see in those cosy cute pictures of mammas breastfeeding their babe’s is the endless hours of “back end” work to get them there. Soothing hot towels, cabbage leaves to reduce swelling, nipple creams slathered on 🙂

So let me set the record straight, Breastfeeding, in the early days is PAINFUL! Before everyone jumps on and shouts at me to say Breastfeeding shouldn’t be painful, I’m not referring to the ACTUAL act of breastfeeding, I’m referring to everything around it. Your breasts are adapting, your milk kicks in and they are they are full, hot, swollen and bruised and then dealing with a baby learning to latch correctly you can get all sorts of issues happening with your nipples (I looked for a more kosher word but sorry, there isn’t one 🙂 ). Let me say this does only normally last for about 3 weeks, the pain does go away, but in that moment, it can feel like a lifetime. I encourage all mums to HANG IN THERE! Please, continue on in your breastfeeding journey, if you can, it is one of the worlds most beautiful experiences.

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This blog is focused on products that can help you through that, and hopefully, get you on track to one of the most rewarding experiences ever. I managed to exclusively breastfeed both of my boys for over a year each (I don’t have anything against formula, I personally just found it more convenient to breastfeed.) Here are some of the things that helped me through:

A lanolin based salve can do wonders for sore, cracked nipples in the early days. I tried both Medela and Lansinoh. My personal favourite was Lansinoh – it has no horrible “stickiness” to it.

Seamless nursing bra – A good nursing bra is a God send, you will literally spend 24 hours a day, and then some in them 🙂  Personally I used “Carriwell”, and used both the normal t-shirt ones and the ones with extra padding. The extra padding can really help especially when baby starts sleeping for longer stretches.

Electric pump – Personally for me, this was my best friend and I would never have lasted so long in my breastfeeding journey without my Medela swing pump. I actually started off with the single swing pump, and after spending 20 mins each side expressing thought I should switch to the double. Ironically, the single pump was waaay more effective and remains my staple. Going back to work when expressing is always fun, I would hide myself in a locked interview room pumping while interviews were taking place in the rooms around me J. I will say I HATED the time spent pumping, I felt like I was wasting time (though I know the end result was far from that), often I considered pumping on the way home whilst stuck in traffic and I know many mums that successfully do so. Pumping also helps to stimulate milk production if you have a dip in your supply.

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Nursing pads – I started off using the Phillips range and to this day that was by far my favourite. Soft, non itchy and disposable but for some reason I couldn’t find them anymore in South Africa, so I switched to Pigeon. Once your milk is more settled and more of a routine formed I switched to cotton based, washable ones which were a big cost saver.

Cooling Gel Pads – Can be used hot (to stimulate your milk production) or cold (to soothe the pain). I will be honest, I didn’t use mine . I found them a bit uncomfortable and heavy, and in the early days the ONLY thing that worked for me was warm wash cloths and cabbage leaves J YES, Cabbage leaves. However I know a lot of new mums that swear by them.

Extra Vitamins – This is a must! breastfeeding, coupled with lack of sleep, or rather broken sleep, drains you! You need essential vitamins to promote healthy supply. Continue with your prenatal vitamins even after birth. You need all of those extra vitamins for breastfeeding. Personally the found the hugely popular Preg-Omega disagreed with me, the Salmon Oil content (or something) was too high and made me terribly nauseas. I switched early on to a generic pharmaceutical brand and that worked like a dream. My best breastfeeding tonic was Vitaforce’s Schlehen Blackthorn Berry Elixir (with my firstborn I swore by it). I would make up litres of jungle juice to store in the fridge. With my second, I just took a good old tablespoon every time I felt I needed it. The other thing you desperately need is WATER, and lots of it!

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C Shaped nursing pillows – These are life changing. They take all the weight off your arms and baba sits at the perfect position, so no wriggly awkwardness. If you have had a c-section, it also protects your scar.

Nursing Cover/ Breastfeeding blanket – Debatable … Ummmm I will admit I never really used it. Nothing that a good old muslin blanket won’t quickly cover up when you need it to and IF your baby doesn’t mind the cover over him/her.

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Whatever your breastfeeding journey is, or for however long it lasts, remember each day is an accomplishment. You have given your baby precious anti bodies and created a beautiful bond. Try and join your local la Leche league to invaluable advice and encouragement.

I’d love to hear your breastfeeding stories, one thing I have learnt is to talk about it more. Every woman who has had children and gone through the same thing but for some reason, the struggles around breastfeeding aren’t spoken about enough. The aim of this blog is to open that up. Its okay, we have been there, and as fellow mother’s we should all support each other. Every way we can.