Tag: parenthood

Life before kids – the top 10 things i took for granted

Life before kids – the top 10 things i took for granted

I think most parents can agree that their lives changes forever when you became a mom or dad. I found my purpose, my meaning in life. I’m responsible for raising good, strong, giving future leaders. For teaching them right from wrong, for bringing smiles to their cute little faces. I love every single minute, despite how tired I am. Once in a while however, I get little “flashbacks” of things that did “BC” that I completely and utterly took for granted.

So here’s a list of some of the things that I took for granted for all of you “parents to be”.

  1. Top on my list has to be sleep. UNINTERRUPTED SLEEP! Whether it’s in a nap form on a Sunday afternoon on the couch, or in my own bed, not having to share my pillow with anyone or a Lie in (what’s a lie in?)– sleep is the one thing I will miss forever.
  2. Watching TV – Since becoming a mummy I can honestly say my TV watching has gone out the window. (I’m not referring to Barney or Paw Patrol). I’m talking about my weekly date with Greys Anatomy and consistently sitting down to watch my favourite shows. It just doesn’t happen anymore. EVER. I’m sure I’ll get back there at some stage in my life, and ill probably have to buy at least 10 box sets to catch up.
  3. “ME Time” – I’m referring to Salon visits here – Pedicures, facials are few and far between. Typically because any extra money I get is typically spent on my kids these days but also because I don’t have the free time anymore. 
  4. Hot Food and Beverages – A hot, uninterrupted mug of tea is literally my absolute favourite thing in the world. My kids have a built in sensor, it beeps every time I sit down to drink my tea. I never get a chance to sip and enjoy my hot cup of tea, in silence. Actually enjoying a long meal from start to finish. All of my meals, including dinner are typically wolfed down and of course is eaten in between cutting up food and giving mouthfuls to my two fledglings.
  5. Travel – Of course travel doesn’t have to stop once you have kids. I just took for granted how easy it is to just book a flight and travel overseas when its just you to think of. Now I have 3 other people to consider (and pay for). 
  6. Running Errands – Mundane things like popping into the store on the way home to boy milk or paying bills at the post office. I always have little people around which involves car seats, “mummy can I have this sweet” or “how long will this take. Enjoy running your errands in peace if you can 🙂
  7. Going to the Shopping Mall – I literally only do this as an absolute last resort if my kids are with me, or if I have back up. I miss strolling through Zara looking at the latest fashion or spotting a cute pair of heels. Nope, none of that now
  8. Lazing by the pool – I used to love lying by the pool, feeling the sun on my skin and closing my eyes. Drifting off on my Lilo. I can’t close my eyes for a minute with my boys by the pool, never mind the fear of drowning, they love splashing me with water !!  
  9. Date Nights – Date Nights were never really “Date Nights”, they were just nights out. Going for a movie or grabbing a dinner after work. I miss that bonding time I had with hubby.
  10. My Parents – from the moment I gave birth I realized just how much I needed my mommy. I am so incredibly grateful and appreciate my mom and dad so much more since becoming a parent. All the sacrifices they made for us, all the times I asked for a chocolate or Fizzy drink whilst shopping. The incredible childhood they gave me, I will never ever take them for granted again. 

I know there will be a time in my life where I get all of this back, and I am certainly not complaining at all. I cherish my children more than life itself, I just thought it would be a nice little reminder for any parents to be to enjoy all the little things; before your lives are turned upside down with sweet kisses and sticky fingers.

How To Parent Children With Different Personalities

How To Parent Children With Different Personalities

It’s something I should have always known, no two children are the same. Growing up with two other siblings, our personalities were all different, yet we had largely the same upbringing. It still surprises me however, just how different they are, and just how difficult it is to parent different personalities. Do you change parenting styles according to your children? How can I be the best parent to each one when their needs, interests and quirks are so drastically different?

You are the same person, you love your children all with the same devotion and vigour, give them all the same opportunities, and to a large extent try to balance out the same attention. Yet they are not the same people and they never will be, I’ve started to learn that you most definitely have to adapt your parenting styles.

One might be more timid and easy-going, while the other is highly social and passionate. One adapts to change, while another might need extra time to adjust. Same parents, same house, same culture, yet two completely different personalities.

The Soft Soul

I have two boys, pretty close together in age (so I haven’t changed much), my eldest is a soft soul. My husband thinks almost too sensitive. He’s not shy at all, in fact quite the contrary, he loves his friends and has the confidence to speak up in a room filled with 100 people. He thrives on praise and has the softest heart in the world, but you just need to look at him with a little disappointment or anger in your eyes and he picks up on it and will cry. He cries for a lot. He is highly empathetic and will cry if he feels he has hurt you.

I know however that is future is bright, he is empathetic, he understands others feelings. He would make a great therapist/doctor one day (though all he wants is to race for Ferrari in Formula One).

Then we have our defiant one

My youngest, he’s a force to be reckoned with. He is not even 3 yet, but yesterday this little guy, in the middle of a meltdown, actually said “Daddy and I both have short tempers”. How right you are my little munchkin. He also adores praise, and love, however, when he decides he wants something, he WANTS that thing, it’s all or nothing and boy oh boy he will break you till you cave. He throws things, he gets cross if things don’t go his way. To put it frankly, he is stubborn as hell.

I know however that if I can nurture this passion properly, I can help him to become a great leader, a confident CEO of a grand empire (though all he wants is to play Golf).

How do parent different personalities in the most effective way?

I’ve come to realise a few things, looking at their “love languages”. The outcome needs to be same because that’s fair but the parenting style needs to be tweaked a bit for their individual style. My eldest thrives on praise. Words of affirmation and encouragement. My youngest doesn’t actually need the encouragement as much, he knows hes got this down and has the confidence to jump right in. While he also thrives on praise, I have also learnt with him to stand strong to your word. Don’t falter, because he does test you. He requires an enormous amount of patience and guidance. I also know that just because he is more “strong willed” it certainly doesn’t mean he is not sensitive. In fact, in a way, he is MORE sensitive and the “aggression” often comes from not knowing what to do with that emotion.

It’s important to give all your children the same amount of attention, take a day in the week or month for some undivided one on one time. Let their own strengths shine through.

Steer clear of labels (which is exactly what I just did when i described them), by repeatedly referring to a child as “naughty”, they will believe that they are indeed naughty, and use that as an excuse to fall back on. I’ve heard my youngest a few times saying “I’m naughty hey”.  Don’t over emphasize their differences either.

The truth remains that even when there are two boys being raised by the same two parents, they will be different for so many reasons. I’m looking forward to seeing how they continue to develop and watch as their personalities develop even further. I think as long as you instill the same values and principles in life, the same positive belief in each child you are on the right path. This in an ongoing journey…challenging me every day, but I’ll be sure to keep you updated every step of the way.

I know one thing is for sure, if they can keep the same bond they share now throughout life, they will lead lives filled with adventure with each other by their side.