Tag: journey through motherhood

Reflections

Reflections

Posted on by Rebecca

What a year 2018 has been. Looking back I can’t actually believe the change that has happened in our lives, so many things and so much to be grateful for!

As a mother, looking at my now 5-year-old, this year has seen him grow into such a big boy. He thrived in a bigger preschool and his art work all of a sudden blossomed into clear pictures. (I thought he would never get there 🙂 ). He went from hesitantly walking into preschool every morning to waking me up at the crack of dawn, already fully clothed begging me to take him to “school”. Such huge milestones that we so quickly forget about. My “baby” went from 2 to 3 years old and suddenly sprouted up to nearly as tall as his “big brother”. He too went from clinging to me like an octopus in the morning at play group to happily (most days) walking in, and telling me all about his day with his “friends”. He learnt to do forward rolls, gymnastics, tennis and made huge leaps in his swimming!

On a personal front I gained the honour of winning the best art and crafts blog through the SA Mommy Blogger awards, such an incredible honour for me and I am so grateful that I get to make a difference, no matter how small, in parents lives. I also took the deep dive into moving my blog over to a self hosted domain, the best decision I have ever made. Thank you Dan for all your help! 2018 saw me working with brands I never thought possible, and I’m so incredibly grateful for all the opportunities and people I have met along the way. The events and products that I have been able to work with are a dream come true, and one that I will never take lightly.

We explored, we adventured, we baked (a lot), we farmed, from raspberries, to vegetables and pomegranates. We crafted, hard, from bath bombs to sensory trays, science, bath time playdough and squishy balls. All while learning along the way.

Some of my favourite posts still include the what to do in Johannesburg series, from our favourite Park and Picnic spots, to restaurants with play area’s and adventure spots. As a mom to young kids these are invaluable, I know I certainly am always on the look out for new places. The latest one is on my favourite festive entertainment spots to visit over the Christmas period.

I think the biggest change came in the second half of the year.

I took a leap and decided to return to an “office job”. I have always worked, but I was fortunate enough to spend close to 5 years working from home, which meant I had beautiful quality time with my boys all while “maintaining” a corporate presence. There are always sacrifices to make made though, and various factors influenced my decision, but the second half of the year saw me working in an office away from home during the day and its been a huge (but good) adjustment. Shortly after that we found out we were expecting baby number 3 (a bit of a shock to say the least), and completed our tri-factor chance with hubby moving into a new job too!

When we play with change in our house we really go all out….

Looking back I wouldn’t change a thing, though I really do miss the quality time with my kids, I think they have adjusted well. I also miss my time at New Body Studio and finding time in the day for my Pilates, ballet and yoga. It’s not really the ideal time with this big ol’ baby belly (well actually it is), but I’m confident I’ll get back there.

The main purpose of this post is Gratitude. For all the opportunities I have had, and all the new connections and friends made. For all the lessons I have learnt (some tough), and all the future that lies ahead. I look ahead to the next year with excitement and a little anxiety as we start the world of “big school” and Insh’Allah we will welcome a baby girl into the world. I also have big plans for this little blog of mine, and I hope to continue to grow and learn. Which brings me to my next point.

I have entered the South African Blog Awards again under the categories best arts and crafts and best parenting blog. If you feel that I have contributed in any of those area’s in your life, please vote for me in the awards. It takes less than one minute, by clicking on this link and select your category choice (or both). You’ll then receive an email to verify your vote, which takes about 15 seconds. You can also vote by clicking on the badge on the right hand panel of the blog. Voting ends on 31 December and it would mean the world to me to have your support.

Thank you to all of you for staying with me in 2018 and I’m looking forward to an adventure filled 2019 !

Happy Holidays!

Love,

Rebecca

 

Lets Get Real About The First Trimester

Lets Get Real About The First Trimester

Posted on by Rebecca

As you are reading this, know that these words were typed a while ago. I’m currently in the thick of things but I’m not meant to be telling anyone yet. Why do we do that? Why do we wait 12-13 long weeks to tell people some of the happiest news in our life? When, if something actually had to happen in these first few weeks, this is when you would need the most support?

Incase you haven’t guessed it HOOORAAAAAH we are delighted to announce our family will be growing to a family of 5 early next year! Planned? Not so much, but wanted? Absolutely 100 percent. Yes, the timing is a little off, it was only something I had wanted to start thinking about mid next year. I’ve just started a new job, the boys are transitioning into school, but God’s timing is always best, and I have always put my up most faith into his plans.

Moving onto the point of this blog.

THIS.IS.TOUGH……….

The toughest I have ever had to be perfectly honest, and because I’m emotional, and because I’m feeling very sorry for myself. I decided to document a few things I hate about the first trimester. I’m documenting them as I know in a few short weeks, I’ll have forgotten about the hell of the past 3 months and would have moved on to feelings of excitement and wonder. But right now, let me wallow.

The first trimester is all about: gritting your teeth with nausea, too afraid to talk because it will bring on a wave of sickness. Its falling asleep sitting up because you can’t lie flat or you will be sick. Its food aversions, I haven’t had a cup of my beloved tea in 3 months, just the thought or smell of it is enough to make me wash my mouth out! Its mood swings, its feeling and looking like crap, but guess what? You can’t tell the world in case anything happens. As a woman, I’m expected to walk around like everything is fine and dandy, still take care of my family and make sure they are all happy and fed when all I want to do is sleep for a million years and not retch when making a meal.

Here are the things I despise the most about this first trimester:

The bloating – I don’t know if my stomach is trying to see if it can stretch out enough or if it’s just testing me, but the first few weeks of discovery were plagued with bloating. My stomach was so bloated I literally looked 6 months pregnant. I had people querying if I was already at 8 weeks, purely just because my stomach was bloated.

Indigestion – What on earth is this?  I have ever experienced indigestion in my life. I don’t ever recall having this level of discomfort. By the time 4 pm rolls around each day I am so uncomfortable it literally feels like my stomach is sitting in my throat. My throat is on fire and so is my chest. I’m thirsty but I don’t want water because it will add to everything else

The exhaustion – I’ll be honest, I’m pretty used to this part. I generally have low blood pressure and am slightly anaemic so add in a growing baby and I am like the walking dead. My poor husband has literally sat alone each night for the past 2 months as I have fallen asleep by 8pm with the kids. I’m passed out, literally. I don’t want to go anywhere on the weekend, I don’t have the energy to even wash my hair. Possibly the one “ailment” I can deal with as I know my body needs all the energy it can get to grow a healthy human.

My hormones have gone off the rails – I’m naturally an optimist. I’m a happy person and typically nothing gets me down or depressed for very long. This pregnancy however has left me feeling, dare I say it, depressed. Don’t get me wrong – I am not depressed about the pregnancy, no way, I love this little lentil more than the world already. I have nothing to be depressed about. I’m just feeling low. I know it will pass, and I know it’s because everything is out of sync at the moment and it is also due to my low energy levels.

The helplessness – Knowing there is sweet bugger all I can do about anything. I still must wake up every morning, go to work and put a smile on my face. I feel like the biggest pile of dog turd, but I need to fetch my sweet boys with the energy of a teenager and give them the attention they deserve in the afternoons. I need to buy as many “easy to make” meals as I can to get through dinners for the next few months, because this too shall pass.

I cannot wait for these first three months to pass. To feel a little more like my old self again and to share our happy news. I know this is a negative ninny post, and not like my usual. I wanted to write it because it’s important for mothers to be to know these feelings are NORMAL! I am thrilled I’m growing a beautiful little baby inside of me and am ecstatic for the future ahead, BUT, I have also felt like CRAP, and that’s OK MAMAS!

 

UPDATE BEFORE I CLICK PUBLISH: I’ve had two days nausea free! Hooraaaah, am I through the woods? We also went for our scan last week and baby looks perfectly healthy and on track. Insha’Allah (God willing), everything will look up from here.

Leaving The Preschool Years Behind; Here’s What I’ll Miss The Most

Leaving The Preschool Years Behind; Here’s What I’ll Miss The Most

Posted on by Rebecca

Before we jump into bed every night my almost 5-year-old insists on placing his clothes out for school the next morning. He gets so excited to get dressed every morning and packs his bag in anticipation and brushes his teeth. He is almost completely independent, bar packing his own lunch box. When did this happen? When did my baby become so self-sufficient and “grown up”?

It marks the start of a new chapter, I’ve officially just handed in our “notice letter” for our last term of pre-school. Next year my baby will be starting big school and I’m feeling a thousand emotions. Am I making the right decision? Should he stay in the school he’s in or do we move him to the local primary school down the road? Will he miss his friends? Will he miss his teacher? Looking back at the past 3 years I can’t believe all the milestones we have crossed. From developing a fully-grown vocabulary which includes words like delicate, effective and communication (which he proudly teaches his brother the meaning of), from riding plastic motorbikes to full on bicycles without training wheels. Creative “scribbling” has morphed into proper pictures, with people, houses and real “things”.

Leaving the preschool years behind has got me feeling properly emotional, but I think I’ll miss it for these main reasons:

  • Showing up late or missing school isn’t the end of the world – My husband always used to laugh at me when I stressed about the time and I was always the firmer parent on attending school. Hubby always said, “he’s still young”, “leave him while we can”. In the past year I’ve realised this. I’ve savoured every moment that we would have mommy and me days or taking him out on spontaneous adventures. Once we start formal school being late or skipping school can come with some serious consequences. The extra time we have had together has been worth very single moment.
  • Sand in his shoes – Something that irritates me now is probably something ill miss the most. A sign of a day well played. Though I’m grateful my car may be a little cleaner, I will miss, what that sand represents: time spent running and playing, pouring and sifting, building and experimenting.
  • Walking into school hand in hand – Ok so maybe this will last a little longer, but every morning my son holds my hand so tight. From the time we leave the car, walking through the parking lot, up the school stairs right up until I hand him to his teacher, he doesn’t let go of my hand, not even for a second.
  • Pure Play – Probably the biggest and most obvious things we will miss. Yes, whilst there is some structure to his preschool all the activities are based around play, and learning through play. I’m going to miss the freedom he has of just “being a kid” the most.

  • Hanging around the class – I’m one of those moms who loves getting involved. I normally stick around for a few minutes after dropping them off (especially with my youngest when he was still settling). All the kids now me and run to give me hugs and tell me about their days, and speaking to other mums about nap times, extra curricular activities or current challenges. Next year the class starts in a much more prompt manner and even though its normal, I’m realizing I won’t know as much about my child’s day-to-day experiences.
  • Pure Friendship – In preschool there is no bullying or teasing.  Pre-schoolers aren’t judgemental, and they play with everyone! The friends your children make are pure and sweet. Once he hits big school and the comparisons begin I know I can’t protect him for a greater world of mean kids, teasing.
  • The Crafty Activities – The artwork, the sensory play, the imaginative creations and abstract architecture. I’m going to miss my son beaming with pride running up to me to explain his latest masterpiece. I’ve kept all the special ones, but If I don’t proudly display it on the fridge he gets upset and wants to know why. I’m going to miss the sense of pride and satisfaction he gets from creating and I can only hope that our selected primary school keeps a good balance.
  • The Community –I know I’ll create a new one, but I’m in a place where my child ADORES his teachers. He is always happy, smiling and eager to get to school first. I know that everyone cares from him, and everyone knows who he is, and I know they would pick up straight away if he was feeling down or unwell.

I have no doubt he will embrace “big school”, every day when we drive past the school he asks how many more sleeps it is until he gets to go to big school, with a big cricket pitch. Its more my emotions, and my fears for him. Leaving the preschool years isn’t easy.  It’s the start of a new chapter both in childhood and in parenting. I plan to savour these last few months of preschool with unhurried mornings and lots of artwork praising.

Dear New Mummy – you are not alone

Dear New Mummy – you are not alone

Posted on by Rebecca

Dear New Mommy,

You are not alone… These first few weeks can seem so daunting. You thought you had read every book to prepare you for the arrival of your bundle of joy, you had attended every workshop. Yet you feel so unprepared and helpless at the thought of looking after this little human. Every single gurgle or grunt you question yourself, is she too hot/ is she too cold? Is he breathing? Why is he making that grunting sound? He’s not feeding enough, he’s feeding too long. He’s not sleeping long enough, or he’s sleeping too much. She is lethargic today… You know the feeling. You feel inadequate, this is not what you expected. You feel alone.

All of these thoughts and feelings you experience are helping you develop your intuition as a mother. No, it’s not something you are born with. It’s something you develop over time, by connecting with your baby. By getting to know them and their bodies, their reactions and movements. You may cry every time you hold him, unable to soothe his cramps or crying due to sheer exhaustion. IT’S OK Mama, hold your baby, all he needs is your love.

Days turn to nights, the world outside slips further and further away. You feel “stuck”, feeding, changing, sleeping, and burping. You finally get your sleeping bundle down and place her in her crib like she is a package of dynamite, carefully loosening your fingers when BOOM. The crying starts again. Lie down, sleep with her on your chest. Sleep together. The world can wait for now. All she needs if your love.

Dear mommy, it’s exhausting I know. The broken sleep, the crying, the fear of harming your child. You can’t quite see the end and you don’t know how other mothers have done it. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. The best advice I could ever give you is take each day as it comes, each day you make it through is another day of raising a strong, healthy child. One more tick through the calendar of life. Each day that breaks your baby is another day stronger, because of you.

You will grow and develop a relationship in your OWN way, you will discover your perfect style of parenting in your OWN time. You will become a heroine, nursing night fevers and numerous amount of sick up, you will survive the days on 3 hours of broken sleep. You will become the PERFECT mother to YOUR CHILD. Your child is like no other in the world. You will develop a network of “mummy’ friends, all walking the same exhausting routine together, you will connect and grow stronger.

So listen to others if you would like, compare with friends if you wish but always know that you are in charge of your own journey through motherhood.

When you are feeling alone, staring out the window as your feed your baby for the 9th time that day, know that you are not. We are walking beside you every step of the way. Reach out to other moms, there is a whole new beautiful world of connections to help you through.

There is no other mother like you, and YOU are PERFECT to them.