In These Stilettos

Ok potential and expectant mama’s to be, I am about to lay down some harsh truths regarding pregnancy. About the things people have told you and the things people will NEVER told you. Whilst “some” parts of your pregnancy are beautiful and you feel great, and MILF- ish. There is a whole lot more that I feel people don’t mention. Don’t get me wrong extremely blessed and grateful for both my pregnancy and subsequent births, and I know there are a huge portion of women out there who battle to conceive. This article is not intended to hurt anyone.

Let me start with the beginning stages, you are newly pregnant, in fact you may not even know it yet. All you know is, you are utterly exhausted! Like drained, no energy to even wash your hair exhausted. Your make up doesn’t even hide the fact that you are exhausted as it just seems to fade away.

Ill paint the picture, I was newly married, (within the first 3 months), returned back to work after the December holidays and our “honeymoon” period, and yes, I was pregnant. My friends/colleagues at work staged an “intervention”, convinced that I was miserable and unhappy in my recent marriage as I looked so awful. (I’ll always remember that ladies, thanks). They said I looked down, depressed, and “sick”. I WAS SICK (well nauseous anyway), but before the morning sickness even hit, my face looked drained. I remember joking to my husband that it was as if he was still single and I skipped all weekend social events in favour of sleep. It’s the kind of tired that not even a good sleep or nap can cure. The kind of tired where you don’t even have energy to cook.

Then you move through to the morning sickness. The thing that triggered my nausea the most was smell. Any strong smells, from my husband’s cologne to steak frying in the kitchen would be enough to send me running to the bathroom. Weirdly enough, for me, the morning sickness struck at night and was enhanced when I took certain pregnancy supplements. Turns out I am not a fan of fish oil.

You then have to go through the completely impersonal experience of doctors and specialists examining your most private areas and having needles stuck into each arm to do blood work. Be prepared to lose all of your dignity, and whatever morsel you have left will be swiftly thrown out the window in the delivery room. Your lifestyle will change from the hippest restaurants and clubs to doctor’s rooms, children’s stores and health and wellness clinics. You will lose some friends and probably gain some new ones too.

As you move into the second and third trimester you start feeling human again. You start “enjoying your pregnancy” YAAAY 4 months out of the rest are amazing. You get to dress your bump up in cute shirts and dresses and feel a little more like a “sexy pregnant mama”, until you hit the last 2 months. You thought your stomach couldn’t get any bigger? Surprise!! It has tripled in size! Baby drops so low that you can’t even walk out to the front gate in pain. All that sleep that you are supposed to be getting? Less than 4 hours a night, because you are as uncomfortable as hell.

Then we deal with the “Side effects” throughout:

Rib Pain

Leg cramps – Debilitating, enough to wake you up mid sleep cramps. Think Tour D ’France cyclist level

Reflux – I had friends that literally carried around bottles of Gaviscon in their handbags

Baby Brain – Really, it’s not made up and it takes a while to come back from it.

Flatulence – I can’t believe I just typed that word out, but it’s true. Glamour out the window.

Zero Immune system – I caught bugs in my pregnancy that didn’t even have names! Doctors thought I had German measles, my joints had arthritic aches and I had a fever for 41 Degrees Celsius.

So there you have it ladies, (and men who think it’s a breeze) and I’m not even mentioning them all. The ultimate truth is, every pregnancy is different. Both of mine were polar opposites and whilst there are some women who have “perfect” pregnancies, there are others that don’t and swear to never incubate a child again.

Negative points and humour aside, I’m not writing this to put you off in any way. No no, the whole journey of pregnancy and subsequent childbirth is worth every single moment and then some. You take it in your stride and suck it up. As women, we are great like that! I just thought if we knew some of this stuff upfront we could be more prepared!

Happy pregnancy! This blog is absolutely dedicated to my sister, hang in there poppet not much longer I promise!

PS: I DEEPLY regret not getting official maternity photo’s done now, looking back, I would absolutely do a shoot. So please excuse the grainy pics.