In These Stilettos

When you become a mother your whole world changes. Suddenly, you are thrust into caring for another human being, making sure they eat, sleep, drink and poop enough. Ensuring they live a healthy life and develop a mind. Safe to say, you lose “yourself” a little. I don’t mean it in a negative way. I would not change anything about the past 4 years at all. But slowly, little by little, you stop thinking about “yourself” and develop a thinking more towards your family. It’s not intentional, it happens over time and suddenly you look back and think, what do I do for myself?

Last year, a rose gold glittery planner for 2017 set it all off. I had a pretty crappy 2016, and while some majorly “happy” things happened, I wasn’t happy. I got myself this planner and was determined it would set the tone for a more “sparkly” 2017.

I look back on this year and I am incredibly grateful. Grateful for the opportunities I have got, the doors that have opened, the friends I have made. I am a firm believer in the mantra of “Everyone is put in your life for a reason”, while you may not see it now, looking back it comes to life. I never thought I “lost myself” in motherhood, only looking back now do I see the signs. This year I have taken back some of “my own life”, and done more things that make “ME” happy. I didn’t consciously stop doing these things, they just weren’t as important as everything else. So what changed?

The first was exercise.

We don’t realise how much of an impact this has on our daily well-being. The endorphins  released just create so much positive energy. I stumbled across New Beginnings Pilates this year and what started off as casual adult ballet lessons has turned into a life changer for me. From ballet I moved into Pilates and it made me realise that I literally has ZERO core muscles left after two back to back kids. (I’m not even kidding, ZERO, I have had women that were 8 months pregnant doing exercises better than I can). I have never been one for “GYM”, but give me dance, yoga, Pilates and I am all for it. The intimate classes and flexible class times and worked out so well for me. Am I at my goal weight/ body? Absolutely not, but that was never my “goal”, and I am also just lazy. I love food way too much and I am also one of those people in class always complaining about how its killing me. I took the classes to refill my tank, to get back to something I loved to do, something that makes me happy.

Travel (taking time for yourself) – The other thing about having kids is the additional cost in travel. You were once able to hop on a plane to see your family across the globe and suddenly you have to pay triple for all your trips. Safe to say travel, took a backseat, but this year, I got the opportunity to travel again. I left my babies twice in the year for the first time ever! So thankful to my husband and incredible mother in law for holding down the fort when I was gone. And guess what? Both the kids and I survived! My soul was revived and I got a full nights sleep for the first time in 4 years !!

Explore your hobbies – for me this is dance, travel and blogging. I actively focused on all 3 this year. Try to find a hobby you used to love and make time for it. Painting, Hiking, reading. Take the time to focus on that thing for one or two hours a week. You are a role model for your children and if they can see you have a passion for something it can only be positive.

Find ways to connect with your friends – With or without kids. I’ve spoken about our lives with Adventure Clubs before, this weekly social interaction with other mums and literally been food for my soul. Weekly play dates or bi monthly girls nights do wonders for your mindset.

Refocus on your goals – create a Vision Board.  My little “Sparkly planner” was the rebirth of my “vision board”. I am a firm believer of putting your goals out into the universe. The focus and energy you inherently put into your goals will help to make it a reality. Just because you are a mother you should never stop trying to achieve your dreams. Research has shown what a positive influence goal driven mothers are on their children.

So ask yourself as a mother, why did you last read a book and finish it? ( I did this year with the new Harry Potter), what are YOUR hobbies, when was the last time you went out with your girlfriends at night?

Motherhood is a never-ending, chaotic, demanding world of taking care of others – cooking, cleaning up, dropping off, talking, playing, entertaining, nursing, nappy changing, bathing, story telling and night-time reading. While chasing after being the perfect mother or perfect wife (something I still fail at), you forget to take care of yourself. I guess what I’m trying to say is that this year, I took my life back, I travelled, I took care of my health, I had a social life outside of my kids, and you know what? We all survived 🙂

Even though they still cry and beg to go and do ballet with me, I don’t feel bad about leaving them for an hour, because I am there all 23 other hours in the day. By taking care of yourself, you are able to take better care of those around you.

Yes, I am a mother, I am a wife. I am also a woman, a woman with purpose.