Creamy Butternut Soup

Creamy Butternut Soup

Posted on by Rebecca

Is there anything more comforting then a big bowl of luxurious butternut soup? Its one of the most simple soups to make, get it wrong and it can be bland as anything but get it right, like this one, and its silky, smooth ,slightly sweet and full of flavor !

Ingredients:

  • 2 good sized knobs of butter
  • Equal amounts of cut up Butternut (500g) and Sweet Potato (I typically use 1 large butternut/1 pkt pre cut and then eyeball the sweet potato to match the butternut amount.
  • Half an Onion diced
  • About 1/2 tsp crushed fresh garlic
  • Chicken Stock (enough to cover the butternut and sweet potato, I normally use about 1 litre.
  • Salt and pepper to taste
  • 1/4 green chillie
  • 1/2 cup heavy cream (or coconut cream)

Method:

  • Heat the butter in a saucepan. Add the onion and sauté for 30 seconds. Add in garlic and chilli until fragrant.
  • Add in cubed butternut and sweet potato and cover with chicken stock
  • Boil until butternut and potato are soft and then blend with a hand processor until silky smooth
  • Add in salt and pepper to taste as well as the heavy cream (or coconut cream dependent on what you have

Serve with fresh bread or rolls, we love the knotted heat and eat rolls from Woolworths! There are so many variations of butternut soup, but this is our favourite. Classic, warm and absolutely satisfying. How do you make yours?

Sleep Aids To Help Baby – The GRO Company

Sleep Aids To Help Baby – The GRO Company

Posted on by Rebecca

Just when the boys started sleeping through the night (well almost, apart from jumping into our beds every other night, but that doesn’t count does it?), we go and dive into the newborn realm again. Cue broken sleep, swaddling and constant bags under my eyes.

I thought we were pretty sorted, with Raya being our third child there wasnt much that we “needed” in terms of product, in fact, for my baby shower, I asked for vouchers just to stock up on nappies etc. Let me just tell you however, since having Yusuf 4 years ago, so much has changed! There are alot of new products on the market that we never had with the boys.

The GRO company recently launched into the South African market, through TommmeeTippee and over the past month I have been using some of the award-winning sleep aids that they produce.

Both Raya and my youngest son are winter babies, which typically involves a ton of temperature control and sleeping sacks. The GRO Company was founded by two parents who battled to get their baby to sleep, they were introduced to “Sleep Bags” and after a 12 hour sleep as a result, the Grobag was born! Since then they have diversified their range all with the aim to help with a better nights sleep. So if you’re a mama to be, or are battling with bed time, you may want to read on and add some of these products to your wish list!

The GroEgg2

The GroEgg is a fantastic addition to any sleeping space. In the blink of an eye you can glance to check that the room temperature is comfortable for baby to sleep in. It changes colour based on the temperature, blue being too cold of course and red being too hot. At optimal temperature it gives off an orange/yellow hue. It also acts as a fantastic night light.

GroFriends

Our little “Owlie” is a gorgeous addition to the nursery and as baby gets a bit older will be a great soothing comfort to her (if her brothers give it back to her). The little friends can attach to the side of the crib and play soothing lullabies. They are sound activated and can sense crying, so when baby wakes the Gro Friend plays sounds to soothe and comfort baby. Its travel friendly and also has a nightlight option.

  • Their built in CrySensor allows them to listen out for noises made by baby. When the CrySensor is activated, the Grofriends will automatically start playing their soothing sounds and help settle your child back to sleep.
  • Ollie The Owl and Percy The Penguin can hear all noises within a room but are specifically programmed to react to crying or sharp sounds which may disturb your child.

The GRO Snug

This has been used every night for the past 3 weeks! The GroSnugis a 2-in-1 swaddle and sleep sack. You can keep baby’s arms in, or open up the poppers to let them out. Raya has quickly outgrown hers (she is super tall) and we will absolutely be buying another one. Ours is a gorgeous coral/pink colour it has a unique shaped skirt giving baby plenty of room to kick and sleep in a natural froggy legged position. Its suitable from birth upto 5.5 kgs. Personally I LOVE that it opens up from the bottom, meaning you can easily do night time nappy changes without disturbing baby.

GROclock

One of my favourite products from the Gro Company has to be the GROclock. My boys are absolutely loving it! I was struggling with my youngest son waking up at the crack of dawn and not going back to sleep. The GROclock allows you to set a “wake up” time. The LCD screen shows images of the sun, moon and stars to communicate sleep and wake up times. It shines a sunshine yellow when its time to “wake up”. It has a digital clock but it also has visual imaging. Once you set the clock for the night, it has “stars” around the face, with each star representing an hour of sleep. So for kids that can’t tell the time, they can easily wake up and see “there are 3 stars left”. It has an alarm clock feature, which my eldest loves. Now when they wake up all the do is glance at the screen to see if its wake up time.

Other features include a handy key lock option so kids can change the time by themselves as well as an option to set two separate wake-up times; one for nap time and one for night.

The boys anxiously waiting for their clock to turn to sunshine, which means they can leave their room.

GRO Swaddle Dry

All hooded towels are NOT created equal. This uniquely shaped swaddle towel is an absolute game changer, especially in winter! Made from the softest puredry mirofibre it makes for super quick and easy drying for baba, wrapping her up in a blanket like warmth after her bath. The swaddle shape helps me to wrap her up tight and settles her quickly after bath time.

Its machine washable, can be tumble dried and it comes in 4 fun characters. The Swaddle Dry is suitable for upto 6 months and from there they can move onto GRO Towels which are made from the same super soft and absorbent puredry microfibre, as well as the GRO Robes which I think I need to get for the boys.

The Gro Company products are available from Takealot.com, Baby City, Loot, Charleys Boxes, or selected BabiesRUs stores.

GIVEAWAY – WIN A GRO HAMPER WORTH R1500 !!

As a mum of 3 I know the value of a good nights sleep. I have reached the depths of exhaustion and have tried every single trick in the book. Together with the GRO company I will be giving away a hamper to one lucky parent.

The prize includes:

  • 1 x Grotowel
  • 1 x Grobag 1 TOG 0-6m
  • 1 x Groegg2
  • 1 x Grolight

To enter: Make sure you are following In these Stilettos on Instagram and Facebook. All entries will be done via the social media pages and winners will be announced on Thursday June 20.

Creamy Chicken Corn Soup

Creamy Chicken Corn Soup

Posted on by Rebecca

This is one of my all time favourite soups. Its comfort food, creamy and sweet with just the right amount of kick. I combined two family recipes here to come up with my own that’s the perfect consistency for me. Its quick and easy and the perfect soup for any time of day!

Ingredients

  • 1 cup cubed chicken breast
  • 1 small finely chopped onion
  • 1 tsp garlic
  • 1 tsp white pepper
  • half a tsp crushed green chillies
  • 1 cup fresh cream
  • 2 tbsps flour
  • salt to taste
  • 1 tin creamstyle corn
  • 1 litre of milk
  • 1 pkt knorr thick vegetable soup (optional)*
  • 1 tsp mustard powder (optional)
  • Butter/ghee for cooking

Method

Braise onion in a pot with butter, garlic, chillies, salt and pepper, mustard powder until translucent, add in chicken cubes and cook on a gentle heat until cooked through. Add a little water and allow to merge together. Add in the sweetcorn and the milk and bring to a gentle simmer, you don’t want the milk to boil, just a low gentle heat. Make a mini white sauce with the butter and flour and add to the pot to simmer until the soup thickens up. Just before serving add in your cream and a fresh grinding of black pepper.

*Optional: If you feel the soup is not thick enough still add in a few tbsps from the pack of thick vegetable soup to thicken it up some more. (Or substitute the addition of flour with a whole packet of thick vegetable), I often just go with whatever I have time for.

Once again, my hubby prefers a smoother soup, so what I do is add in half the tin of sweetcorn initially. I then blend the soup when its cooked and once its smooth I add in the rest of the sweetcorn. I like the texture of the whole kernels and its a little more aesthetically appealing to me. Garnish with either fresh coriander or some finely chopped spring onion.

Baby Shower Inspiration – Tropical theme

Baby Shower Inspiration – Tropical theme

Posted on by Rebecca

I thought it was well overdue to write a blog on the beautiful baby shower that was thrown for Baby Raya and I, by my incredibly talented bestie, Megan. I was hesitant with Raya Maryam being our third baba whether to have a shower or not, but she is our first little girl and Megs didn’t take no as an answer 🙂 She jumped at the chance to handle all the decor and has been there every step of the way in planning all my special days. Its events like showers, hen parties and milestone birthdays that make me realise what special people I have in my life. I am so truly grateful to each and every one of the incredible ladies in my life. Every single friendship has a chapter and season and I am a firm believer of everyone being in your life for a particular reason. So before I dive into the detail; thank you to every single person for your contributions and being so special to me. Now onto the shower.

When Meg’s asked me about a venue, the first one that popped into my head was of course, Killarney Country Club. Not only is the golf course my husbands second home, but the gardens and views are so incredibly beautiful, its the perfect place for a “garden” party. We sat outside their newly renovated section under the terrace overlooking the little dam. We could bring in all our own Halaal food and treats and has a few appetizers ordered from the restaurant. They have a fab new outdoor area with some 5 aside soccer fields as well, perfect for the kids to play. I’m just sad they got rid of the “putt-putt” area as the younger kids had a blast playing there.

My favourite part of any event is of course the decor and I knew with Megs being in charge of the styling it would be incredible. I went with the tropical theme for the nursery, so this was the chosen theme for the shower. I am not a “pink and glittery” fan, (and I know Megs would shudder before styling a party like that anyway :)), all I knew about the day is that it would be tropical with pops of gold. Meg created (and her husband built, thank you Dyl), a fantastic frame out of spray painted PVC piping to frame the dessert station. The beautifully lasercut “baby” sign acted as a center piece to the frame. Leeandra, from Fields of Colour , stepped in with the floral arrangements. She did the most incredible tropical leaf feature on the backdrop and transformed the table with her table wear and gorgeous tulips and vases. Lee; thank you so much you have no idea how much I appreciate your efforts.

No detail was overlooked, and each place setting has gorgeous little Maverick and Jane Popcorn as take homes with thank you labels printed and tied with natural rope. All of our parties feature caramel popcorn, so this was a special touch! Tiny alphabet blocks that were lovingly spray painted with Rustoleum added “pops of pink” to the tables.

The Dessert table with a treat with a few of my friends contributing baked goods and savouries. The delicious cake (and mini masterpiece), was created by Cara, from Aristocakes. An incredible pink ombre cake with flecks of gold. It was a super yummy pink ombre sponge inside as well, with a strawberry filling. Thank you Cara for the time spent creating this beauty. Its was so elegant and chic. No party of mine (or Megs), would ever be complete without getting Sugar & Paper involved. Liezl made jaw dropping tropical leaf-themed cookies. Liezl, you blow me away and leave me dumbfounded with each new design. Every single set gets better and better, and trust me, she makes the best tasting sugar cookies as well! Its no joke when I say I often cant eat them because they are too pretty. I literally want to frame them and put them up on a wall!

Corinna, from Corinna Tannian Photography, was on hand to capture all the delicious detail and moments. Corinna, you always capture the most incredible detail, thank you from the bottom of my heart for giving up your time and being a part of all of our special moments. You bring so much joy and happiness to our special occasions and your photographs speak for themselves. Memories to last a lifetime.

Finally to Megs, as your Bunting and Blooms journey and new chapter starts, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for always being there for me in my life. Through all the ups and special moments, to all the hard and darker and frustrating times. I thank God the day he placed us in the same Res, and for all the memories we have shared. You are my second sister and always willing to go above and beyond. I’m grateful beyond words for all you do for me, and you did the most incredible job at styling Raya Maryam’s shower.

For anyone looking for incredible event styling in Johannesburg contact Megan to make your vision a reality. For all your styling needs contact Megan:
megan@buntingandblooms.co.za
+27 72 298 5553

Supplier details:

Styling and Design: Bunting + Blooms

Venue: Killarney Country Club

Floral Design and Hire: Fields of Colour

Photographer: Corinna Tannian Photography

Cake: Aristocakes

Sugar Cookies: Sugar & Paper


Fathers Day Gift Guide 2019

Posted on by Rebecca

It’s Father’s Day on Sunday 16 June and thankfully progressed so much further then beers, braai’s and socks (though i couldn’t resist and included one pair of socks). Gifts have expanded; we can now buy experiences (my favourite kind), artisan coffee making courses to custom designed sports goods. Here are a few of my top picks for this year. All links are attached and you can purchase most of these goods online.

From top left to right:

The K-Way Men’s Harlow Down Jacket is perfect for cold weather outdoor pursuits, its wind and tear proof and is perfect for dad’s daily commute or a weekend hike. I want to get one in black for the whole family! R1 999, available for purchase in store only.

Personalised fleece gown from R499.95 from Netflorist

My husband adores his mini tool kit, you can grab yours from Mantality
at R175.00

Camel Leather Belt from Trend and Miller at R299.

You can never go wrong with a great cologne. YSL Kouros Gift Set from Edgars R1400.00 .

Sweet tooth? How about some Sugar Cookies from Sugar and Paper Parties, ranging from R60 to R130.

Organise all the important things in dad’s life in one space with this
Stand Organizer from Mantality R749.00

Silvery has so many gorgeous options I’m not sure where to start, from the “Compass Coordinate” Cufflinks”, which start at R950 to the personalised KeyChains and Neck pieces which start at R450. Why not engrave their thumbprints or a personal piece onto the Keyring?

Whats Fathers Day without a pair of socks? Best Dad in the Universe from Trend and Miller R79.

Impress the golfer in your life with this Callaway Chipping Shot Net R699.99 avaliable online at the Pro Shop.U

How sauve is this Unisex Leather Vanity for the traveller in your life, avaliable from Thandana at R792.00

The Tekut Bamboo Biltong Slicer will make slicing biltong easier and dad will have endless biltong for those rugby matches and afternoon snacks. Just R399 from Cape Union Mart.

The Leatherman Rebar with Leather Pouch is ideal for handy dads. Again, I think I must have bought my dad at least 3. This is perfect for camping, hiking, or weekends away and comes with convenient features such as screwdrivers, pliers, a file and a saw to name but a few, there isn’t much he won’t be able to do. R1 199 available to purchase in store and online.T

I Love a good leather bag, think there is something so chic about this Medium Traveller Bag from Thandana, R3227.00.

You can never buy a man too many Swiss Army Knives, no seriously, you cant. I’ve bought my dad about 5 (word of advice, don’t keep them in your pocket going through airport security.) The Victorinox Spartan 12 Function is a great entry at R325 from Cape Union Mart.

Netflorist has an incredible range of personalized T-shirts and hoodies. To suit any type of dad, whether you he’s a retro geek or he loves golf, you’ll be sure to find one for your family! From R299.95.

How cool is this laser keyboard? Perfect for the techie dad and small enough to be carried across the world. Laser Keyboard – R799.00 from Mantality.

That’s it! I could have gone on and on but those are my top picks for this year. Happy “daddy’s” day to my dad and my wonderful husband. Anyone can be a father but being a dad is truly a lifetime responsibility.

“Nursery” Reveal – Making The Most Of Small Spaces

“Nursery” Reveal – Making The Most Of Small Spaces

Posted on by Rebecca

I’ve debated for a while now whether to do this post or not, because well, our littlest doesn’t really have a “nursery”. In fact, its something I only ever did with our eldest. With Aadam, I painted the room in a soft muted grey, found the cutest elephant decals, had candy stripe walls etc. It was fun, and I loved that room, I spent hours in there (obviously). With your second and third child though these things don’t matter as much. Lets be honest, for the first few months baby sleeps in your room, next to or in your bed. We have moved around a little and have been renting the past few years, so we aren’t as free to paint the walls any colour of the rainbow either.

All that being said, this is my first little girl, and I wanted a space especially for her. The problem is, we have 3 kids and a 3 bedroom house. The boys share a room, I always wanted them too, (Until they are teenagers anyway). I also want to keep my guest room. All of our family lives out of town so its important for me to have a room for guests to come and stay. So space for Raya’s room was very very limited.

I knew I wanted a neutral theme to blend a guest room and nursery together. I first spotted the tropical “bananas for you” Sleepyhead Pod and the Maccie Blanket with tropical leaves and I knew I wanted a tropical theme. I know its very “on trend” at the moment, and I normally steer away from “trends”, but this is too gorgeous and so refreshing. I then also found a gorgeous tropical bumper from “Delicious Monsters” on Instagram, a local company based in Durban. Claire from “Gathered by Claire” custom made me a felt banner for my little fierce princess, which fits in perfectly with our theme and when another friend of mine relocated to Amsterdam, I jumped at the chance to buy her white crib, literally having sold our old cot a month before I fell pregnant.

This left little space in the room for anything else (we already had the queen sized bed in it), but I still didn’t have a compactum, or any drawers for clothes, or shelving! I searched the net for a while, but everything I found was a little too long, or wide or bulky for the space.

Enter CoziCot 🙂 I contacted CoziCot hand asked them to custom make me a compactum drawer set and some bookshelves based on a design I had seen and on the measurements I was working with. I wanted the bookshelf to fit flush against the back of the cupboard, as it was really the only space it could fit, and the compactum to squeeze into the corner next to the crib. They made up the furniture according to my requests and delivered it fully assembled. The quality of the finish is incredible and the drawers have a “soft close” to them. The bookcase is everything I imaged and the size and height are perfect! I am absolutely thrilled with the results and my hubby wants me to contact them again to do some drawers for our bedroom and the boys room.

So now I have a guest room and a baby room in one. Its not overbearing or screaming with pink anywhere, and I still have enough shelf space in the cupboards for guests to use. Its not complete yet, I’ve been looking for a hanging element to hand under the shelf above the changing mat for a while and I think I spotted the perfect one from Clever Little Monkey made by Tiger Lily that i think will complete the room perfectly!

Did you have a nursery for all of your children? Id love to see other shared spaces and how you have managed to balance the two. How would you style it?

Chicken And Vegetable Soup

Chicken And Vegetable Soup

Posted on by Rebecca

Its officially soup season and nothing is better then a hearty chicken soup. We eat soup every evening (well in Ramadan anyway) and have it when we break our fast. On rotation in our house (apart from the odd occasion where I’ll make up a box mix of Haleem), are three staple soups. Chicken and Vegetable being my husbands favourite.

This recipe is adapted from the book “Cosmopolitan Cuisine” by Hamida Kolia. Its literally my go to recipe book, and every single thing in it is a success. My book is so dog eared from being used all the time, I desperately need a new copy. This chicken soup is quick, easy and hugely flavorsome and the whole family will love it. Both my boys eat it and it can be cooked in under 30 minutes.

Ingredients

  • 1 cup chicken fillets (cubed)
  • 1 small onion diced
  • About a Tbsp Oil/ghee
  • 1/2 tsp white pepper
  • 1/2 tsp garlic flakes (or fresh garlic)
  • 1 tsp chicken spice
  • 1 Tblsp Worcester sauce
  • 1/4 tsp green chillies (finely ground)
  • Salt to taste
  • 1 cup frozen Veg (I use the carrot, pea and corn one)
  • 1 pkt Knorr Thick Vegetable Soup

Method

  • Braise your cubed chicken in oil with onions and all spices; (garlic, salt/pepper, chillies, chicken spice and Worcester sauce), on a medium heat for approx 10 minutes.
  • Add a litre of water to the pot and bring to simmer
  • Add in your cup of frozen veg and bring to boil again for about 5 minutes
  • Add in your packet of thick vegetable soup (I mix it in with a little cold water first before adding it to the pot, so it doesn’t go lumpy).
  • Boil until soup is slightly thick
  • Using your hand blender, blend until smooth.
  • Garnish with cream or fresh coriander is optional

My husband prefers a smooth soup, so we blend most of ours to a smooth consistency, but this of course, is optional.

I’ll be sharing our other two favourites over the next week, which are creamy butternut and a soul warming creamy chicken and corn. What are your favourite winter soups? Do you eat them as a meal in itself or as a starter?

Giving Back With Cadbury Dairy Milk And “The Little Generosity Shop”

Giving Back With Cadbury Dairy Milk And “The Little Generosity Shop”

Posted on by Rebecca

We all have toys that our kids don’t play with that we want to give away or donate right? We often never know where to drop them off or run out of time to do so. You may have noticed, a few weeks ago I shared a very poignant advert done by Cadbury. It showed paper planes floating down the centre of the iconic Ponte building, highlighting the fact that 3.7 million orphans in South Africa have very little opportunity to experience the smallest things in life, things like toys and books. In a bid to help turn things around Cadbury Dairy Milk has launched “The Little Generosity Shop” across the country.

What is the shop exactly? Its a mobile store that has been set up for you to drop off your toys/ books that Cadbury will distribute to orphanages and homes across South Africa. Today marks the official opening of the store to the public, and yesterday we popped around for the launch and to drop off our donations. When visiting “The Little Generosity Shop”, you can leave any toys or books you may have and get the opportunity to write a personalized message to a child that will be receiving it. In addition, you can learn about the history of Cadbury Dairy Milk and pick up tips on how to spread your generosity further with “Cadbury Chronicles”. The aim is to collect 3.7 Million toys in this period, and you can watch the counter move as each person donates toys. How cool?

Over the past few weeks we have been sorting through our toys, choosing ones we don’t play with anymore. Giving the boys the authority to choose makes the separation a little easier, but to our surprise we received an exchange of chocolate bars in return, which was a lovely treat for the boys parting with some of their precious toys.

I urge all South Africans to get behind this fantastic initiative. We all have old toys and books that our kids don’st play with anymore, and there are so many children who have never had a chance to play with any. Cadbury Dairy Milk is making it easy for us to drop them off and do the distribution, so there is no excuse not to take part!

You can find “The Little Generosity Shop across the country at the following points:

  • Johannesburg: Sandton City, Checkers Court (29 May – 17 June)
  • Durban: Gateway Theatre of Shopping, Centre Court (25 June – 8 July)
  • Cape Town: Canal Walk Shopping Centre, Centre Court (19 July – 5 August)

There are mobile shops in the following cities:

  • Bloemfontein: Loch Logan (7,8 & 9 June)
  • Port Elizabeth: Baywest Mall (15 & 16 June)
  • Pretoria: Irene Village Mall (28, 29 & 30 June)
  • Nelspruit: Riverside Mall (12, 13 & 14 July)

To find out more visit www.cadburyglassandahalf.co.za , lets make South Africa a better place together!

https://youtu.be/8dKQH_pkXPA
Win a Keedo Voucher – Eid Outfit Inspiration For Kids With Keedo

Win a Keedo Voucher – Eid Outfit Inspiration For Kids With Keedo

Posted on by Rebecca

The excitement of the morning, waking up before sunrise to prepare for the morning prayer, getting dressed in your very best clothes, eating delicious food and receiving “Eidee” (presents/money) from family. Eid is such a special day for children around the world. Its a celebration of accomplishments and the blessings that we have to be thankful for, to signify the end of the holy month of Ramadaan. With a little over a week to go until the special day, parents everywhere are starting to shop around for Eid outfits for their kids.

It can be hard to find something that looks good, feels good, and can last for a whole day of prayers and festivities. I normally find it to be such a challenge to find cute outfits for the boys that they are able to comfortably play around and last the whole day in. Its either got to be super casual, because if I do go more formal, the jeans are normally too stiff for them to play at ease.

Keedo’s new “Twilight Garden” range has a slightly more formal look to it, whilst still maintaining the comfort and durability that they are known for, making it perfect for special occasions like Eid. Keedo is one of my favourite brands for children, and the fact that I can finally venture into the pretty girls side, makes my heart jump for joy! They are proudly South African and are ethically made, producing clothes that are made for the “adventurous child” who embraces life to the full and loves to be outside and exploring. Sounds like my boys!

I chose for the boys (or rather they chose for themselves), for Yusuf: the “Bookworm Top”, I love the classic lines of this long sleeve top and its a gorgeous thicker fabric with a stretch to it. Stone wash jeans and a Canvas Jacket. For Aadam we chose the “Take Flight” vest, Tab Shirt, Boys Jeans and Smart Cap. I even picked up something for baby Raya Maryam!

The boys will be able to comfortably play around and last the whole day in their Eid clothes this year, and they are already fighting over who gets which outfit! Check out your nearest Keedo Store or online to have a look at your Eid Inspiration.

Giveaway – Win a Keedo Voucher

To help you along the way together with Keedo, I’ll be giving away a R350 Voucher for you to spend towards your shopping! Entering is as simple as following both “In these Stilettos” and Keedo on Instagram and commenting on the picture what you love most about Keedo! Winner will be announced on Monday June 3rd 2019, allowing you enough time to squeeze in your Eid shopping!

Eid Mubarak !!

*Disclaimer* I received a Keedo Voucher to purchase these items, but all opinions and views are my own.

I Lost My Cool – When You Get Frustrated With Baby

I Lost My Cool – When You Get Frustrated With Baby

Posted on by Rebecca

One of the reasons I started blogging again was this very season, this season of “parenting a newborn”. It can be so incredibly isolating and tiring on your soul. And today, today I lost my cool and got snapped back into reality by my 5-year-old. The physical and mental exhaustion, and constant attention needed got to me, I found myself taking out my frustrations on an innocent 4-week-old.

I find the newborn phase the most challenging. Even after 3 kids, raising a newborn requires a certain amount of patience that I don’t possess. Both my boys were colicky, but both had slight reflux as well. I would walk up and down with them for hours and broke down in tears many times. Raya Maryam certainly hasn’t been “colicky” yet but come 4pm everyday all she wants is her mama, and her mama’s boobs 🙂 Should you not give her any of those things the crying begins. Along with that of course, comes the winds. Each time she falls asleep, I lift her onto my shoulder to burp. Occasionally one or two come out straight away, but then the rest of the time I feel her little body pull up and tenses up completely. She arches her back and starts complaining and sometimes, like tonight, there is just no calming her down. You can try different methods, the shoulder burp, the “leaning forward and rubbing her back” method, the over the knee method, nothing helps to calm her but the boob. Fast forward 3 hours of playing on the “merry go around” of feeding, falling asleep, trying to burp, her little body cramping up and crying; I could feel myself patting her back a little TOO hard. Rocking back and forth a little too hard and shouting at my baby to “stop it”. Like a 4-week-old can understand and listen to me. The frustration was taking over, and I was putting it on my precious baby.

The boys were falling asleep in their beds on either side of me and my 5 year old, sensing my frustration and change in temperament,  sat up in bed and said “Mummy let me take her, I know how to take care of a baby” “really?”, “Yes” he proclaimed, “my teacher showed me, hold them gently like this and move and sing softly to them, you are being too rough.” BOOM.  Snap back to reality that I so needed by my sweet son.

I took a deep breath, said a prayer, kissed my sweet little baby and I gave her patience that I pulled out from the deepest corner of my soul. Hubby wasn’t around at the time, but if he was I certainly would have passed baby onto him earlier on. I remember being at this point with both the boys when they were newborns too, on that snapping point from sheer frustration. Its scary. Its scary to realise how fine that line is and I’m so grateful to have realised beforehand, before I tipped over and accidently hurt my child.

The point of this article of not to get judgement, nor to look for advice on “what could be wrong”.  I know I know we need to get into the feed, wake, sleep cycle but that’s something I have always battled with in the early days. I feed on demand for the first few months.

The point of this article is to let all new moms out there know that “it will be ok”. As a first-time mom the experience of motherhood can be incredibly lonely and isolated. I want you to know that at some point we all will get “frustrated” with our babies. It doesn’t make you a bad parent. Most people will not admit to “getting angry with their baby”, but I’ve been where you are. I’ve cried while my baby cried, I’ve stopped myself from rocking them a little too hard. I’ve felt my nerves reaching snapping point and wondered if I may have hurt my baby. I’ve felt so guilty that I’ve broken down in tears.  Motherhood is wonderful and magical and at the same time awful and hard. Even on my 3rd child I still have these moments.

Don’t be afraid to refuel and recharge. The beautiful thing about motherhood it sometimes all you need is a 5-minute break. Don’t be afraid to just put baby down and walk away for a short while, your sanity is the most crucial thing. Babies also feel emotions. If you are tense and frustrated, they wont be settled. They need soft love and care (one of the reasons my babies settle easier with me typically and not dad).

Don’t be afraid to reach out to someone, another mum. We have all been there and I promise, most mums I have met will never judge. Don’t feel ashamed for your feelings or your response to motherhood. By speaking out you are getting help. Finding a group of mums that you can talk to or that have children similar ages can be a God-send. Just getting out and talking about it airs your frustrations.

No excuse me while I go and kiss my precious bundle. Tomorrow is a new day and a new start, with hopefully a recharged milk supply for this lil monster 🙂