Category: Baby

Dear New Mummy – you are not alone

Dear New Mummy – you are not alone

Posted on by Rebecca

Dear New Mommy,

You are not alone… These first few weeks can seem so daunting. You thought you had read every book to prepare you for the arrival of your bundle of joy, you had attended every workshop. Yet you feel so unprepared and helpless at the thought of looking after this little human. Every single gurgle or grunt you question yourself, is she too hot/ is she too cold? Is he breathing? Why is he making that grunting sound? He’s not feeding enough, he’s feeding too long. He’s not sleeping long enough, or he’s sleeping too much. She is lethargic today… You know the feeling. You feel inadequate, this is not what you expected. You feel alone.

All of these thoughts and feelings you experience are helping you develop your intuition as a mother. No, it’s not something you are born with. It’s something you develop over time, by connecting with your baby. By getting to know them and their bodies, their reactions and movements. You may cry every time you hold him, unable to soothe his cramps or crying due to sheer exhaustion. IT’S OK Mama, hold your baby, all he needs is your love.

Days turn to nights, the world outside slips further and further away. You feel “stuck”, feeding, changing, sleeping, and burping. You finally get your sleeping bundle down and place her in her crib like she is a package of dynamite, carefully loosening your fingers when BOOM. The crying starts again. Lie down, sleep with her on your chest. Sleep together. The world can wait for now. All she needs if your love.

Dear mommy, it’s exhausting I know. The broken sleep, the crying, the fear of harming your child. You can’t quite see the end and you don’t know how other mothers have done it. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. The best advice I could ever give you is take each day as it comes, each day you make it through is another day of raising a strong, healthy child. One more tick through the calendar of life. Each day that breaks your baby is another day stronger, because of you.

You will grow and develop a relationship in your OWN way, you will discover your perfect style of parenting in your OWN time. You will become a heroine, nursing night fevers and numerous amount of sick up, you will survive the days on 3 hours of broken sleep. You will become the PERFECT mother to YOUR CHILD. Your child is like no other in the world. You will develop a network of “mummy’ friends, all walking the same exhausting routine together, you will connect and grow stronger.

So listen to others if you would like, compare with friends if you wish but always know that you are in charge of your own journey through motherhood.

When you are feeling alone, staring out the window as your feed your baby for the 9th time that day, know that you are not. We are walking beside you every step of the way. Reach out to other moms, there is a whole new beautiful world of connections to help you through.

There is no other mother like you, and YOU are PERFECT to them.

Dealing with Postpartum depression – In Men

Dealing with Postpartum depression – In Men

Posted on by Rebecca

Postpartum depression is a term that’s commonly heard, new mums are taught to be on the lookout for postpartum depression in themselves, but what about fathers? The journey into fatherhood doesn’t always come easily to men. Recent studies out of Europe show that up to 20% of all fathers experience some form of post natal depression. The reality is that postnatal depression in fathers is real.

What exactly have they got to be depressed about? They don’t go through pregnancy or the process of childbirth. Their hormones don’t suddenly open up and crash around them. They don’t have another being physically draining energy out of them. What affects them?

Dads go through similar emotional and mental rollercoasters as a mother does. Their world has been shifted upside down and they often struggle with a connection to the new baby. The focus of attention is typically on the newborn baby and mum, and as a man, you may feel that your needs are overlooked, as a father, you may not be sure of what exactly your role is, or how you fit in. Parenthood also brings new responsibility, for men an added “pressure” to “provide” for his family. Feelings of anxiety, exhaustion and stress.

Typically men expect that “paternal pride” to kick in immediately, but for some this doesn’t happen. If a mother breastfeeds her child it can be seen as an instant connection, she is providing and nurturing her child, fathers may feel left out. Mother and baby are seen as one and fathers are often on the side-lines. I know when my boys were younger and I was feeding them, I know my husband often felt “left out”, he felt he couldn’t “provide” for them and they didn’t “need” him. If they cried at night, he could not soothe them.

Everyone asks, “How is mum doing”, what about dad?

There is also strong correlation to show that is a mother is affected by post partum depression, typically the father is more prone to it as well. Some men do have tell-tale signs of depression, such as sadness, while others may display more aggression, agitation or even become detached. A lot of men start to work longer hours, at work they still feel powerful and needed.

 

If you feel you/ your partner may be experiencing some form of depression after baby, here are a few tips to include him more:

Try to get dad involved in nappy changing/ bath time more. Bath time could be their special bonding time.

If you are breastfeeding, after feeding hand baba over to dad for the burping and to finally put baby down to sleep. There was a period in time when my firstborn would only fall asleep in daddy’s arms hearing the Qu’ran being recited in his ear.

Express a bottle every now and again for daddy to feed.

If baby wakes at night try to get dad involved, even if it’s just passing the baby over to you (though this is easier said then done 🙂 ).

Encourage dad to exercise, release all that good energy!

If you feel the shift in your partner’s personality is big enough, suggest they speak to a 3rd party/ counsellor to seek treatment.

Postpartum depression is becoming more talked about and is not an uncommon thing anymore. Parenting is a life-changing experience; one that no-one is really prepared for. Our predictable, familiar comfort zone is thrown out of the window and our whole world spins. Try to keep the communication lines open, in most cases, you are there to support each other and life each other up. From a lot of the research done, postpartum depression in dad’s can clear after 4-6 months, once baby starts to become more alert or interactive and starts to recognise faces. As a mother, support your partner and try to encourage him as much as possible. Shower him in praise at his parenting skills and let him know that you couldn’t do it without him. Let him feel needed.

My top C-section recovery essentials

My top C-section recovery essentials

Posted on by Rebecca

If you follow my blog I’ve written numerous articles on pregnancy and essentials for newborns. I’ve also written about my V-Bac experience. I haven’t really focused on my C-section as such because well, apart from being last minute and completely unexpected it was uneventful I guess. What you would expect from a C-section. Continue reading “My top C-section recovery essentials” →

Tips for a positive potty training experience

Tips for a positive potty training experience

Posted on by Rebecca

So we are in the midst of potty training… round two.. What amazes me is how different one child is to the other. My eldest was pretty much fully potty trained at 2 years and 4 months, the age my youngest is now. The thing is, he is just damn lazy 🙂 . He knows exactly when he needs to go but will purposefully go and run away from you. Continue reading “Tips for a positive potty training experience” →

Congrats you’re pregnant! Have you booked your dentist appointment?

Congrats you’re pregnant! Have you booked your dentist appointment?

Posted on by Rebecca

So hey, congratulations! You’re pregnant? YAY, Ok, so here’s something they NEVER warn you about… your teeth !

In between all the hospital tours, doctors check-ups, name searching and nursery set up, a trip to the dentist is certainly not high up on the list. But, did you know, that pregnancy can lead to dental problems? Most pregnant women are affected by some sort of dental problems including gum disease, sensitivity and tooth decay. Continue reading “Congrats you’re pregnant! Have you booked your dentist appointment?” →

My V-Bac Experience

My V-Bac Experience

Posted on by Rebecca

Let me start by saying that I did not choose to have a V-bac to be “more of a woman”, or to fulfil some right of passage that is bestowed upon all women, because to be honest, in my opinion, that is a load of rubbish. Regardless of the way you give birth you are still a bloody strong woman, in fact dare I say, having a c-section is far worse than giving birth naturally. Continue reading “My V-Bac Experience” →

Three ways you didn’t realise you were harming your baby’s skin

Three ways you didn’t realise you were harming your baby’s skin

Posted on by Rebecca

Writing my blog on breastfeeding recently got me reminiscing on that newborn mummy stage of sweet milk scented kisses, gurgles and the oh kissable soft skin of your baby. Broody much??

I learnt recently from the launch of the Johnson’s Baby Healthy Skin Project, which aims to improve the health of more than 3 million babies by 2020, that a baby’s skin is 30% thinner than an adults. Continue reading “Three ways you didn’t realise you were harming your baby’s skin” →

The truth about breastfeeding, and products that can help you along the way.

The truth about breastfeeding, and products that can help you along the way.

Posted on by Rebecca

So there is phase of motherhood that no one really “tells you about”… You know all about the milestones and a little about the burping and sleep patterns, but everyone fails to mention those first 8 weeks, where as a new mother, your body aches in places you never knew existed. If you have chosen the breastfeeding route, you feel as if someone has put you through 12 rounds of a boxing ring. The one thing you don’t see in those cosy cute pictures of mammas breastfeeding their babe’s is the endless hours of “back end” work to get them there. Soothing hot towels, cabbage leaves to reduce swelling, nipple creams slathered on 🙂

So let me set the record straight, Breastfeeding, in the early days is PAINFUL! Before everyone jumps on and shouts at me to say Breastfeeding shouldn’t be painful, I’m not referring to the ACTUAL act of breastfeeding, I’m referring to everything around it. Your breasts are adapting, your milk kicks in and they are they are full, hot, swollen and bruised and then dealing with a baby learning to latch correctly you can get all sorts of issues happening with your nipples (I looked for a more kosher word but sorry, there isn’t one 🙂 ). Let me say this does only normally last for about 3 weeks, the pain does go away, but in that moment, it can feel like a lifetime. I encourage all mums to HANG IN THERE! Please, continue on in your breastfeeding journey, if you can, it is one of the worlds most beautiful experiences.

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This blog is focused on products that can help you through that, and hopefully, get you on track to one of the most rewarding experiences ever. I managed to exclusively breastfeed both of my boys for over a year each (I don’t have anything against formula, I personally just found it more convenient to breastfeed.) Here are some of the things that helped me through:

A lanolin based salve can do wonders for sore, cracked nipples in the early days. I tried both Medela and Lansinoh. My personal favourite was Lansinoh – it has no horrible “stickiness” to it.

Seamless nursing bra – A good nursing bra is a God send, you will literally spend 24 hours a day, and then some in them 🙂  Personally I used “Carriwell”, and used both the normal t-shirt ones and the ones with extra padding. The extra padding can really help especially when baby starts sleeping for longer stretches.

Electric pump – Personally for me, this was my best friend and I would never have lasted so long in my breastfeeding journey without my Medela swing pump. I actually started off with the single swing pump, and after spending 20 mins each side expressing thought I should switch to the double. Ironically, the single pump was waaay more effective and remains my staple. Going back to work when expressing is always fun, I would hide myself in a locked interview room pumping while interviews were taking place in the rooms around me J. I will say I HATED the time spent pumping, I felt like I was wasting time (though I know the end result was far from that), often I considered pumping on the way home whilst stuck in traffic and I know many mums that successfully do so. Pumping also helps to stimulate milk production if you have a dip in your supply.

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Nursing pads – I started off using the Phillips range and to this day that was by far my favourite. Soft, non itchy and disposable but for some reason I couldn’t find them anymore in South Africa, so I switched to Pigeon. Once your milk is more settled and more of a routine formed I switched to cotton based, washable ones which were a big cost saver.

Cooling Gel Pads – Can be used hot (to stimulate your milk production) or cold (to soothe the pain). I will be honest, I didn’t use mine . I found them a bit uncomfortable and heavy, and in the early days the ONLY thing that worked for me was warm wash cloths and cabbage leaves J YES, Cabbage leaves. However I know a lot of new mums that swear by them.

Extra Vitamins – This is a must! breastfeeding, coupled with lack of sleep, or rather broken sleep, drains you! You need essential vitamins to promote healthy supply. Continue with your prenatal vitamins even after birth. You need all of those extra vitamins for breastfeeding. Personally the found the hugely popular Preg-Omega disagreed with me, the Salmon Oil content (or something) was too high and made me terribly nauseas. I switched early on to a generic pharmaceutical brand and that worked like a dream. My best breastfeeding tonic was Vitaforce’s Schlehen Blackthorn Berry Elixir (with my firstborn I swore by it). I would make up litres of jungle juice to store in the fridge. With my second, I just took a good old tablespoon every time I felt I needed it. The other thing you desperately need is WATER, and lots of it!

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C Shaped nursing pillows – These are life changing. They take all the weight off your arms and baba sits at the perfect position, so no wriggly awkwardness. If you have had a c-section, it also protects your scar.

Nursing Cover/ Breastfeeding blanket – Debatable … Ummmm I will admit I never really used it. Nothing that a good old muslin blanket won’t quickly cover up when you need it to and IF your baby doesn’t mind the cover over him/her.

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Whatever your breastfeeding journey is, or for however long it lasts, remember each day is an accomplishment. You have given your baby precious anti bodies and created a beautiful bond. Try and join your local la Leche league to invaluable advice and encouragement.

I’d love to hear your breastfeeding stories, one thing I have learnt is to talk about it more. Every woman who has had children and gone through the same thing but for some reason, the struggles around breastfeeding aren’t spoken about enough. The aim of this blog is to open that up. Its okay, we have been there, and as fellow mother’s we should all support each other. Every way we can.

My Mummy blog – essential items for a newborn baby

My Mummy blog – essential items for a newborn baby

Posted on by Rebecca

Ok, so I have taken a very long hiatus from my blogging. In fact I was actually ashamed to write this blog in a way, I’m very sheepish because of how long it’s been. But this is my blog and my rules right?
I started blogging for my company on articles specifically pertaining to recruitment and career development so a lot of my time was taken by that. And of course this……………….

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My beautiful, cheeky baby boy. I’ve felt the urge to write this blog for a while now, specifically as a new mum. I found while I was pregnant, everyone gives you advice (of course) BUT they forget all the yucky, important stuff!

Like how incredibly sore breastfeeding is in the first few weeks. Or how long you actually take to recover from a c-section and the fact that your scar still hurts 5 months down the line. Various feminine issues going on and how it feels to first actually have a proper bathroom session (I hope no men are reading this 🙂 ) Then there’s the fact, we all know, that newborns sleep all the time yaaaay but what about when they get to 5/ 6 weeks ? Then its like HEELLLLOOOO World! “I’m not sleeping now …”

There is so much advice I would love to give to new mums out there, fact is a lot of it you just learn for yourself. BEST TIP EVER? Certainly the main one I WISH I had taken! Yes, while its so nice to have your baby falling asleep in your arms DO NOT start rocking or swaying him to sleep. While they are still newborn get into the habit of baby falling asleep independently. Its no fun having to walk/rock/sway a 9kg 6 month old who fights every inch of sleep for hours on end…

Onto the lighter stuff. Here are some products that changed my world and I believe are a MUST for new baba’s. Not your standard 6 babygrow, changing mat type of list, rather products that made my life a whole lots easier:
1) Telament-T colic drops – WOW how this saved my life in the early weeks. When baby is crying on end and nothing calms him down? Pop a little drop into a dummy/ pacifier and its like INSTANT calm ! Amazing! Either that or it just gives baby’s a huge sugar rush.
2) Telament- T Gripe water – No other brands worked as well as this did and my Baby B LOVES the taste! Great for when hiccups occur, take about 2ml in a dropper and voila ! Hiccups be gone!
3) A reclining seat/rocker – (For baby not you) I didn’t have a sway chair. Mine was a standard reclining chair with a soothing vibrate function and detachable “friends” to entertain baby. Best place to put baba for a change of scenery and a great place for him to fall asleep when you are busy ironing 
4)Physiogel Lotion/ Cream – Newborns have the most sensitive skins so you cant go lathering on lavender scented aqueous cream straight away. I learnt this the hard way and baba broke out in eczema! These creams were so gentle on baba’s skin. Lotion for body and cream for face.
5) Lasinoh nipple cream – enough said. I found it to be better then the Medela brand (which was too sticky) this was non scented non sticky and super calming.
6) Medela breast pump – If you are a breastfeeding mum this is a MUST have! I bring it down to expressing in those first few weeks that helped my establish a proper milk supply. Its also allowed me in the first few weeks to get extra shut eye. Grannies would do “night duty” and I got a full 8 hours ! Of course when returning to work it also made sure my baby didn’t starve ! They are super industrial quality, easy to use, pretty quiet and compact! I’m lucky enough to have the normal single electric pump and the double swing maxi and both have been brilliant. One word though if you invest in the swing maxi its essential you get the support bra/holder. Otherwise you sit there like a muppet with both hands occupied holding the bottles and you cant even adjust the speed!

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7) Phillips Avent disposable breast pads (in the beginning) were the softest by far of all products on the market. After a while I swapped to the Phillips re-usable (washable) kind.
8) Schlehen blackthorn berry elixir. A MUST again for all breastfeeding mummies. A tonic/ vitamin/ magic juice to increase your milk supply. A God-Send. Mix it up with some rehydrate and juice to make a yummy “jungle juice” that works miracles.
9) Cotton Wool – This simple/ humble item proves its weight in gold with babies. People forget to tell you about the explosive poops 🙂 Funniest and messiest thing ever! I find plain old cotton wool more effective then any “wetwipe” and generally reserve the wipes for when we are out.
10) A Muslin Cloth – I bought a whole lot from “Baby Sense” to keep baby cooler when we went to Botswana for summer. I quickly found it has a multitude of uses and baba loves it! Almost like a security blankie. It’s a changing cloth, a blankie, a shield over the pram, a wiper-uper… the list is endless.

Those are my top 10 things that made my life a great deal easier. I’m sure I’m missing out on a few but the old wives tale around porridge brain and memory is NOT an old wives tale. I’ve lost my mind…but the reward is so much greater 🙂

If you have any more suggestions feel free to comment! Wishing you all happy baby days……………….

Ps x the stilettos? not so high anymore………..