Tag: love

I Choose Love

I Choose Love

Valentines day is surrounded by controversy. It’s a completely commercialised day coercing consumers to unnecessarily spend money. It’s a pagan festival celebrating a “saint” we should not follow, there shouldn’t be only one day dedicated to love… I mentioned before, that now, more then ever we need love in this world. We need more people to open their hearts and love, with empathy.

So here’s a little bit about why I CHOOSE LOVE.

I remember during my psychology studies at University, coming across the story of a “Dr Emoto” and his “Messages from water” study. He basically had people “speak into water”. They whispered words of love and affirmation, and shouted words of anger onto the water. Those water samples were then frozen and photographed. He found that water that had been exposed to loving words created brilliant, complex, and colourful snowflake patterns. In contrast, the water exposed to negative thoughts, formed incomplete, uneven patterns with dull colours. This more than anything should show the world how our words and our energy impact the earth itself as well as our positive health. Another reason to say a prayer before we eat or drink 🙂 My favourite words (in terms of water crystal pictures) are happiness, gratitude and “I love you.”

I choose happiness. Of course the world can get you down, bad things will happen. In my family we have coined the term “Wilson’s law” instead of Murphy’s law as typically what can go wrong will go wrong, but it’s the way that you get through those things that make the difference. Your attitude. If you aren’t naturally a bounce off the wall “happy” person there are certain things you can do to choose happiness and positivity. Be the best that YOU can be, make a choice to surround yourself with the right person. As you saw above the power of another person’s energy on you has a dramatic effect on your wellbeing. I know personally if I have a fight with someone my body literally feels drained. I can’t quite explain the feeling but I physically feel weak and drained. Don’t take yourself too seriously. Everyone is in the same boat, whether you are the CEO of a global conglomerate or a street sweeper, we all have a same emotions and fears. Never be afraid to step outside of your comfort zone a little to see where your potential lies.

Choose to help others when you are able. There is no greater joy in life than the joy in seeing someone’s gratitude to receiving something, to helping someone in need.

We also get so caught up in our day to day world that we forget to tell those people closest to us how much we love them, we forget to show them through actions. So frankly, I love a day to use the excuse. I take my husband as an example. I honestly feel that in the past 2 years I could probably win the world’s crappiest wife award, and yes, I do think the title of worst husband could go to him too 🙂 (sometimes). We are caught up in life. Between work, school, raising our children and everything in between we often live “past” each other. Not even connecting with each other on truly how we are doing. For years in our relationship my husband was my sole priority. I did everything for him and he had my undivided attention and then came the job changes, the kids and with that my priorities shifted dramatically. He was bumped off his pedestal. So my dear husband, firstly I want to apologize to you, for not always giving you the attention you deserve, but you will always be my number one. Secondly I want to thank you, for supporting your family with such determination. I admire that so much. So this year my focus is you. My focus is showing those around me just how much I love them, how much I appreciate them.

My focus is on spreading the love and giving freely. If I could add a bit of positivity into just one person’s life it would be worth it. Choose love with me. Choose to rise above the hate and negativity in this world because there is far too much of it. Choose to be a BETTER PERSON. Yes there are horrific injustices in the world, which break my heart, but instead of focusing on how bad they are and blaming someone for them, CHOOSE TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE YOURSELF.

So happy valentine’s day everyone, yes we don’t need a “DAY” to tell someone special that you love them, but sometimes it’s nice to have a forced reminder !

Relationships – Valuing those who mean the most

Anais Nin put it beautifully when she said,Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.”

Though some people are natural loners and are happy without them, most of us depend greatly on the company of true friends. As with any relationship, friendships bring support and joy and occasionally strife 🙂

As we grow, we realize it becomes less important to have MORE friends and more important to have REAL ones.

If you think about it, life is kind of like a party. You invite a lot of people, some leave early, some stay all night, some laugh with you, some laugh at you, and some show up really late. But in the end, after the fun, there are a few who stay to help you clean up the mess. And most of the time, they aren’t even the ones who made the mess. These people are your real friends in life. They are the ones who matter most.

Heres a couple of things I feel true friends do in fact it kind of relates to your relationships too):

  1. They face problems together. – A person who truly knows and loves you, a real friend, is someone who sees the pain in your eyes while everyone else still believes the smile on your face. Reality is you don’t need a friend who can solve all your problems; you need a friend you will face your problems WITH you. lo
  2. They GIVE what they can. – Truth be told a lot of us enter relationships to get something out of it. We try to find someone who’s going to make us feel good. In reality, the only way a relationship will last, and give us happiness in the long-term, is if we see our relationship/ friendship as a place we go to GIVE, not to take. Contrary to popular believe studies show you gain significant happiness and a sense of purpose from GIVING. It can only be a ‘give and take’ if BOTH SIDES are GIVING. That’s the key.
  3. They make time for each other. –  You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot in someone’s life. Never force someone to make a space in their life for you, because if they truly care about you, they will create one for you.
  4. They offer each other freedom. – A healthy relationship/ friendship keeps the doors and windows wide open.   Relationships thrive in this environment. If this person is meant to be in your life, all the open doors and windows in the world won’t make them leave.
  5. They communicate effectively. –  You NEED to get your thoughts OUT. If you have resentment, you must talk it out rather than let the resentment grow. If you are jealous, you must communicate in an open and honest manner to address your insecurities. The most popular myth is that, in relationships,  since you talk to your partner, you’re automatically communicating. But this is generally surface stuff. 80% of communication actually involves listening!
  6. They accept each other as is. – Trying to change a person NEVER works. A real friend is someone who truly knows you, and loves you just the same. Don’t change so people will like you. Be yourself and the right people will love THE REAL YOU.
  7. They are genuine. – Never idealize others. They will never live up to your expectations. Don’t over-analyze your relationships. Stop playing games. A growing relationship can only be nurtured by genuineness.   
  8. They compromise.  – Real friends meet in the middle. When there’s a disagreement, they work out a solution that works for both parties – a compromise, rather than a need for the other person to change or completely give in. It may even be that one party may decide to walk away, that it’s not worth the investment. That’s ok too, you have people in your life for different reasons and seasons.
  9. Belief in each other. – Studies of people who grew up in dysfunctional homes but who grew up to be happy and successful show that the one thing they had in common was someone who believed in them. Do this for those you care about. Support their dreams and passions and hobbies. Be nothing but encouraging. Whether they actually accomplish these dreams or not, your belief is of infinite importance to them and you made a difference to someones’ life.
  10. Be Realistic. – No one is happy all the time. Friends must keep realistic expectations of each other.  We are not all “Super-men” we have our day-to-day lives and get caught up in them. It may be that you don’t see your friends for months on end. A true friend is someone who you can see after years and you can pick up right from where you left off.
  11. They honor each other in small ways on a regular basis. – Honor your important relationships in some way every chance you get. Every day you have the opportunity to make your relationship sweeter and deeper by making small gestures, remember the giving? Making one person smile could change THEIR whole world. Your kindness and gratitude matters.It’s all too easy to take someone for granted.
  12. They keep their promises. – Your word means everything. This is HUGE to me, If you say you’re going to do something, DO IT! If you say you’re going to be somewhere, BE THERE! If you say you feel something, MEAN IT!It doesnt mean you can’t ever cancel or change but your word is your integrity, something that is so crucial to never lose.
  13. They stick around. – The sad truth is that there are some people who will only be there for you as long as you have something they need. When you no longer serve a purpose to them, they will leave (going back to the seasons). . We rarely lose friends and lovers, we just gradually figure out who our REAL ones are.

“A Real Friend is one who walks in when others walk out” -Walter Winchell

A-Z (of things i love..)

A-Z (of things i love..)

A – Almonds. Best healthy snack.
B – Baking… have always, and will always be obsessed (when I have energy)
C – Cats (or dogs?) I neeeed a pet so badly at the moment, however it’s not the right time in my life. I’m a firm believer that pets have a telepathic connection with us and know exactly when we need extra attention
D – Dresses for Summer – I’m loving the feminine lightness, now I just need to follow-up with toned legs and a great tan?
E – Eggs Royale. Poached Eggs, Smoked Salmon, Hollandaise sauce, enough said
F – Fun filled weekends.
G – Gardens ! I LOVE the Outdoors there is nothing better to do on the weekend then laze around a huge patch of grass under a big tree

H – HAPPY – what I am right now and counting the days till the December break!
I – Ice – Cream – specifically Hagen Daaz ! Perfect for the Summer
J – Jewellery – statement pieces, rings, dangley earrings. I can’t get enough.
K -Kindness. Be kind to people. You never know what they are going through in their lives.
L – Laughing. My best is when you get a stitch from laughing and tears run down my cheeks. It’s simply the BEST. (although I always end up with Hiccups afterwards
M – Maldives – ah yes my dream destination that I will get to one day

N – Nature Reserves – There is nothing like heading back to nature for TRUE rest and relaxation.. T – 43 Days till I bask in the beautiful Botswana Heat of Chobe !

O – Oats. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day and I’m a big fan of oats. I also love adding blueberries, or strawberries 🙂
P – Photography. I really love seeing things through a lens. It’s a whole different view on life and add to beautiful memories
Q – Quality time with friends and loved ones.
R – Rainy days under a duvet.
S – Summer, Sun-Kissed Skin….
T – Tea !! What is better in life then curling up with a beautiful cup of tea
U – Underwear – it has to always match and it has to be comfortable.
V – Vision Boards. At work we call them Dream Boards. Create one for yourself every year and look back ! I love setting goals and dreams.
W – Watermelon. It’s slowly starting to come into season and I’m like a little girl at Christmas over this fruit.
X – Xenon Headlights – and my future car that will have them ………
Y – Yacht’s – some of my best memories have been island hopping on yachts. There is no other word to describe it other than Bliss!

Z – Zebra Print … in fact any animal print. I always accessories to an extra feel of sexy-ness



LOVE, this blog is owed to love, not only the mushy stuff but the passion that drives us in our day to day lives. Love is such a funny, complicated, beautiful, thing. There’s so many different ways to love. For instance, I love my family, but that love is different than the love I have for my friends… and those are both different than the love I have for my boyfriend. Love is a hard word to define… Maybe it was Paul Mcartney’s recent nuptuals that inspired me…

I used to day dream about having one of those cooking shows, the kind with a set that looks like a fully-equipped kitchen, even though it’s really no more than a stove, sink, and countertop surrounded by big cameras and people holding up cue cards just out of sight. I would have endless conversations “cooking” over the stove teaching “the wall” how to make some dish. Of course I’d have a crew that was responsible for all of the peeling, chopping, and washing (I’d volunteer my sister to do this job any day). They would prepare my ingredients for me and put them into separate bowls, so I could whip together any unbelievable dish in a matter of minutes and look like a master chef! Pulling out something that was “prepared before”,  I’d end with looking at the camera to tell my viewers at home: “For more delicious recipes, be sure to tune in next time”                    I LOVE COOKING!

Most recently, I came to a very important conclusion, I am just not a “flats” girl. I like my heels. For so long I have tried to deny myself this silly little truth, I couldn’t do it anymore. It got me thinking… Is it ever really about the “shoes”? Or am I one of those compulsive “Shopaholics?” It’s no coincidence that the Shopaholic Book is written about a young women named Rebecca, yep that’s me 🙂 Although I may be in denial I am not a “shopaholic” I merely like to surround myself in “nice things” , luxury. (I think that’s a Leo trait).For me an outfit is based on the shoe, Entirely. It’s the first thing I think of when getting dressed, what shoe will I wear? The shoes signify accepting who I am and owning it. I LOVE SHOES!

For anyone that closely knows me they will know that I have a very “eclectic” Family. From family psychics to levitations, “singing to the sun”, “snake hunting” top if off with a Rasta brother and me, the Muslim daughter, we are pretty much a bunch of Hippies. We don’t “talk” we “shout” but hey it works for us. We also live on every continent in the world. We are pretty much proof that one family can have completely opposing viewpoints and general opinions.If we can disagree we will. But under all of that, is LOVE, a huge amount of it. Love for each other, love for fun, but mostly love for the family unit, and I can’t wait to have my own crazy family one day. I LOVE MY FAMILY

Then we have my partner….. He’s my best friend, a helping hand, a good listener, a comedian, and the love of my life. I met him high school, cliché right? Ten years on he still makes me laugh every single day. He is my right hand person for everything, yet we still have our own individual lives. We tease each other, we argue over who is making the tea (I always end up doing it), we argue over doing stuff on the weekend (he is a homebody and I need the outdoors, I need people) but more importantly my love for him grows every single day. Don’t get me wrong, no relationship is perfect, far far from it. However I’ve found the person that I want to fight with  The one that acts like a hard ass but is really the softest person ever. And yes I LOVE HIM 🙂

 With all this LOVE I also want to talk about GIVING BACK LOVE… This week I’m going back to Lambano Baby Sanctuary. Something that has been very close to my heart for many years. I’ve gotten caught up in “life” recently, and yes even though I have been involved in various projects none of them were constant or have been about “Building relationships”. So on Saturday I’m taking a couple of people from work to go and spend time with these orphaned kids, most of which are HIV+. What makes the most of “giving back” is “giving time”. More than anything underprivileged people deserve your time. I remember in University I did a research project on Homeless people in Johannesburg but above anything, when I approached these people to talk to them their faces lit up when someone took the time to acknowledge them.

So GIVE YOUR LOVE BACK! Be appreciative of your crazy family, don’t be afraid to Love. You will feel that no matter how big your problems are, the world is a better place! One step closer to living the dream x